Hanky Panky Hullabaloo
by TheComingofEpic
Summary: A love story for Valentine's Day. Mr. L decides to make a kindness potion because of Dimentio's insults and attitude towards him. It's too bad the kindness became love from just adding a Pure Heart. With a few minutes Dimmy is flirting with Nastasia, Mimi's clinging onto O'Chunks. Even Tippi and Mr. L are interested in each other! Now it's up to Count Bleck to fix this situation!
1. Chapter 1

**I made this story for fun since school has stripped all FF related activites. I decided to upload a story for this catagory to try to ease back into ! Enjoy!**

 **NOTICE: Nastasia and Dimentio are Black ( or light-skinned as everyone calls it) because I just think they look better that way X3**

* * *

Count Bleck is drinking wine with his wife Tippi in the meeting room. Romantic music is playing in the background and the candles on the table are slowly melting from the tiny flames on the wick.

"You look lovely tonight."

Tippi giggles, "Oh Blumiere you're making me blush."

"The both are you are making me sick. It's not even nighttime it's like ten in the morning!"

The couple looks to their right to see Dimentio giving them a look of disgust.

"What are you doing here? Didn't Nastasia tell everyone to stay away from this room?" Count Bleck asks.

"Yes she did. I just blatantly ignored her. Nastasia, O'Chunks, and Mimi are playing on the Wii and Mr. L isn't here yet. I have free time on my hands."

"Can you spend your free time doing something else?" Tippi says with a flair on annoyance. "We're spending time together. So can you leave?"

"Are your last days upon you? The last time I checked butterflies only live for thirty days."

Count Bleck begins to giggle. Tippi gives him a death stare. "What's wrong? He has a point! You've been alive for years! You might drop dead any day now!"

"BLUMIERE!" Tippi screams.

"Wait a second!" Count Bleck glares at Dimentio, "Only I can make fun of my wife! NASTASIA GET YOURSELF IN HERE!"

Nastasia appears at the candlelight brunch. She bows her head in front of the Count and Tippi. She glares at Dimentio, who flashes her a smile. "Yes Count Bleck?" She says.

"Can you remove Dimentio from our lunch session? He's being inappropriate."

"Well if that's why you're kicking him out then you'd have to get your backside out of here too!" Tippi yells.

"The butterfly has a point. I highly doubt that Beastiality is legal."

"Cut it out Dimentio, let's go and leave them be. I was in the middle of beating Mimi and O'Chunks at Mario Kart."

"Fine, but I think they continued to play without you. We did that to Mr. L a few days ago." Dimentio and Nastasia leave the room together. Tippi and Count Bleck watch them until they leave the room. Tippi sighs and Count Bleck groans.

"This is all Count Bleck's fault. I should have made reservations for the Grand Toad Cafe. Only if they had good entertainment."

"It's not that Blumiere. You like to make fun of me and make jokes about my current state. It's not like I WANTED this to happen to me! You make cruel remarks sometimes. Why can't you show your love like a NORMAL man?"

"Being weird is normal being normal is weird Lovebug." Tippi twitches at the nickname.

She slams her… wings on the table. "I'm leaving. I'm going to check on Mimi. She might need help with her wardrobe.

"You should try to keep that mouth of yours in check you know? I'm surprised the Count didn't chop off your hands."

"He wanted to look good in front of the butterfly. After all, she may start to breakdown soon. Remember that time you and me went on a mission at Fort Francis and saw those butterfly p—"

Nastasia's face turns into a look of horror. "We promised to never tell anyone 'K? I don't want them to think I am a zoophiliac."

"HI GUYS!"

Dimentio and Nastasia cringe at Mr. L's greeting. He has a stupid smile on his face and he is holding a book in his hands. "Guess what I just got from the Mushroom Kingdom's library?"

"A book on robotics?" guesses Nastasia.

"A self-help book?" Mr. L growls at the smirk on Dimentio's face.

"No and no!" He yells. "I HAVE A BOOK ON DIY EXTRAORDINARY EXPERIMENTS!"

They stare at him in silence. Dimentio gives him a confused look. "Are we supposed to care?"

"It has some cool things like homemade ibuprofen that makes you invincible, stars that can blow up and make mini nebulas, there's even an infinite joke book experiment!"

Dimentio rolls his eyes, "We don't need an infinite joke book."

"Why not?"

"Your life is the biggest joke I've seen yet."

Dimentio begins to laugh and Nastasia tries to hold her's in. She elbows him in the stomach, which makes him stop. Mr. L feels a void growing in his chest. Maybe he should've renewed that self-help book or bought it…

Nastasia takes a deep breath. "Anyway, Dimentio let's talk about your behavior in private. Mr. L go do what you have to do."

Mr. L waves them off in silence. He quickly runs down the hallway, flipping through his DIY book. _Is there something in here that can kill dimensional jesters?_ He thinks to himself. He stops in his tracks when he sees an experiment that catches his eye:

A Kindness Potion :D

This DIY will make the most evil person in the world be kind to you! This potion can be mistaken as pink lemonade, certain champagnes, watermelon juice, and more! It all depends on your ingredients and we have three different ways you can make it!

Mr. L feels an unnatural grin make it's way onto his face. He begins to laugh involuntarily. _I think Dimentio has been rubbing off on me. Therefore he'll be my first victim._ Mr. L begins to feel better on the inside. It's as if he'd used the bathroom after a long, stressful mission.

"'Ey Mr. L! How're yeh doin'?" It is O'Chunks.

"Hey O'Chunks!" Mr. L greets. "I'm in a great mood today! How's your day going?"

"Purty good. What tiz dat in your 'ands?"

"Oh it's a book on Robotics." He lies. He's going to need O'Chunks to find the perfect place with all the materials. "Do you know where Count Bleck's private office is? I have to leave something on his desk for some new modifications to Brobot. He needs improvement on some things so I don't embarrass our organization."

"Dat sounds brilliant! I'd be happy to!" He says cheerfully. "Follo' meh."

Mr. L follows O'Chunks two halls left, one right, one straight, three down, three right, and three up. But the time they make it to the office, Mr. L felt his pants slipping. O'Chunks begins to laugh at him and his panting.

"I... think I... just... lost... ten pounds..." He says.

"Well we can't telepurt soh weh 'ave to take the long 'ay." O'Chunks says with a smile.

"Well thanks for your services O'Chunks. You're as tough as the mountains by the Beanbean Kingdom!"

O'Chunks backs up with a scared look on his face. Mr. L blinks at him in confusion. "Why are you backing up?"

"Are yeah ok? Yeh starting to remind of Dimentio." He says.

Mr. L rolls his eyes. "Anyway you can leave me here. I can find my way back. Thanks for everything!"

O'Chunks nods his head and begins to retrace his steps. Mr. L waited until he wasn't able to see him or hear his footsteps. He puts his hand on the doorknob and turns it slowly. When the door is fully open, Mr. L feels the wall for a light switch. When he finds it, he's flicks it on.

The room is empty. He closes the door and locks it. His plan worked!

Since the Count is a man trying to increase his knowledge on magic and bring Tippi back into some anime hottie, he has been getting exotic ingredients. From Toad spots to dragon heads to human bones and more! But there's one thing vital to Mr. L that is his most important ingredient yet.

The Pure Hearts. They were shining on eight pedestals. He only need one, which was pretty risky because Count Bleck is very protective over them. Count Bleck would probably kill him, rip out his heart and put it on one of the pedestals to make up for it! Mr. L cringes at the image then shakes his head.

It's time to get some work done.

* * *

"Alright Tippi tell me which one's better: the glittery sleepy sheep wool scarf or this color changing cashmere scarf?"

Mimi looks around the room for her fashion critic. She spots Tippi grumbling to herself in the corner of her room. Mimi puts her scarves on her bed and walks over to Tippi slowly. She could only make out a few things like "doesn't understand", "lost hope", and "getting a life on track." Tippi's grumbling so much that she doesn't notice that Mimi's right in front of her.

"Hey Tippi!"

"GOOD H—" Tippi flies into the wall. Mimi begins to giggle out loud. Tippi regains her posture and hisses at her. "What's WRONG with you?!"

"What's wrong with me?" Mimi repeats. "Is this coming from the Pixl who was grumbling to herself when we just started figuring out my wardrobe? Winter is getting worse by the year y'know!"

"I'm... sorry Mimi." Tippi apologizes. "I kinda got upset at Blumiere earlier today. He just doesn't understand my situation."

Mimi sighs. "I'm sorry to hear that Tippi, but to tell you the truth... I really don't care right now. Once we're done with my clothes then we can have a girl-to-girl talk."

"...Fine." To be honest, Tippi was shocked that those words came out of Mimi's mouth. Sure, she can be selfish sometimes but she didn't expected those words out of her mouth! Mimi claps her hands together, snapping Tippi out of her thoughts.

"To make this experience even better, we'll need a male's point of view... Count Bleck's out because you two are having a lil' bit of tension. Dimentio may try to make my clothes kill me again after I threw out his mask."

Tippi stares at her. "...Wait... WHAT?!"

"Yeah... Count Bleck never told you? Oh and by the way, stockings being forced down your throat is pretty painful."

"There's always Mr. L."

"Nah, I don't even know if he's in the castle today. I don't want to disturb him." Mimi says.

"'EY MIMI YAH HER'?"

"You can come in O'Chunks, the door's unlocked." Mimi says.

The door bursts off its hinges. Mimi and Tippi stare at the warrior. Tippi is astonished while Mimi is pouting with an angry expression. O'Chunks's face turns red with embarrassment. "Sorry Mimi, I kin fix et for yeh 'ater."

"It doesn't matter," A smile forms of Mimi's face. "You'll need to do me a favor since you destroyed my door. This is great! You came at the right time! You are going to be a male judge for my winter wardrobe! You and Tippi are going to help me look as beautiful as a princess!"

O'Chunks looks at Tippi in shock. Tippi is giggling silently to herself. He quietly puts the door back in the doorway.

"This is the greatest book ever!"

Mr. L has been in the Count's room for more than thirty minutes. So far he's been following the third recipe's instructions for the kindness formula.

4 Heart Candies

1 Picture of someone giving someone else a hug

5 bags of sugar

10 things that you like

5 things that an average girl would like

5 things an extraordinary boy would like

1 box of chocolate

1 bouquet of roses

1 gallon of milk

Surprisingly, Mr. L has done everything the recipe says, but not in order. He took care of everything except for the 10 things he likes, 5 things a girl likes, and 5 things some Out-of-this-World boy would like. The 'average' girl was once a girl with straight hair, loves pink, small dogs and things like that. In these days it's usually girls who smoke, have implants, fantasising about ten million boyfriends or trick some boy into paying child support. Mr. L highly doubts they want all of THAT in a kindness formula/potion/spell.

Mr. L looks around the room. He sees some dragon heads, a goomba who'd probably died from suffocation, and a few dirty magazines. He looks down at his cauldron which is a dark shade of pink. He grabs the dragon heads, the dead goomba, and the dirty magazines. He throws all of them in there.

"I hope that counts." His eyes land on the Count's desk with a French dictionary and a book on how to understand girls. He dumps those in there as well. "Both girls and boys like those stuff and I, especially like those kinds of magazines."

Mr. L keeps on looking around the room and back at the book. He sighs and closes the book. He might as well put in any random thing into the cauldron. He grabs whatever is in the nearby vicinity from weapons to bricks to bones. He even grabs some books from the Count's comedy section of his library.

"Alright, so here are some knives, axes, swords, broken bones, and things like that."

All of them get swallowed by the pink liquid. Mr.L looks at the few books he took off of the bookshelf. The books are so dusty, he can't even see the titles! All he knows is that the group of authors that made the books are known as 'The Firing Squad'. He throws them in there for the fun of it.

You may be asking, "Why the heck are you putting all of those in there Mr. L? What kind of friends do you want?". Mr. L has the perfect reason, it's because he wants his friends to protect him and do some role-playing as well. Plus, he always wanted to see someone do fruit art. It's a great explanation if you ask him anyway.

Mr. L turns to look at the Pure Hearts. "Finally! The time has come."

He breaks the glass covering the eighth Pure Heart. He picks it up from its pedestal and throws it in the cauldron. The eighth Pure Heart had to do the trick, since it came from a Nimbi... not the NICEST Nimbi but she was the daughter of Grambi, the King of the Overthere. Plus her name IS Luvbi. That has to count for something!

He takes a pencil from the Count's desk and begins to stir the now light pink liquid. He can just imagine how much better his life would be...

 _"Hey Dimentio! Go throw yourself off that cliff over there. I'm bored out of my mind."_

 _"But Mister Sir Count Master Prince Dictator Lord Ruler Supreme King Pharaoh Leader President Ambassador L, what if I don't survive to entertain you again? After all I'm barbaric, edgeless, tasteless, tacky, ersatz, roguish, tacky, heinous, atrocious, narcissistic, yucky, ominous, uncivil..."_

 _"SHUT UP AND DIE!"_

 _"Gladly Mister Sir..."_

 _SPLAT!_

Mr. L stirs quicker with newfound joy. Who knew being this devious would be so much fun?

* * *

Mimi is laughing with giant spotlights on her face. She is wearing brown knee-high laced snow boots, black jeggings, and a panda-covered coat with a matching hat. O'Chunks is taking pictures of her at different angles while Tippi's adjusting the lights. Mimi and O'Chunks seem to be enjoying themselves while Tippi is sweating her wings off.

"Can... we take... a break?" Tippi asks wearily. "You should be... shocked... that I... can do all of this!"

"Fine." Mimi sighs.

O'Chunks pats her on the black lightly, "Ah don' pout. Yah did great! Yah looked great out der! I'm proud of yah!"

Mimi looks at O'Chunks with a small smile. "Awww! Thank you O'Chunks! You're such a sweetie."

"Nah. Nat as sweet as deh picturs of yeh." O'Chunks passes her the camera. Mimi squeals and begins to look through the pictures. Her eyes got wider and wider with every picture. She begins to smile and squeal with joy. Tippi grunts and rolls her eyes.

"Tippi you have to see these pictures! O'Chunks is a pro at taking pics! Did they teach you how to do this in war or something?" Mimi gives O'Chunks a giant hug. Tippi feels her heart drop. She remembers her discussion with Blumiere earlier. Maybe she was a bit rough.

Someone knocks once on Mimi's door, causing it to fall immediately. It's none other than Count Bleck. Mimi and O'Chunks run up to greet him while Tippi stays in the same place. Count Bleck looks at her and sighs.

"Count Bleck is sorry for his obliviousness." He says. "We will walk to our room and talk along the way."

Tippi is touched by his offer. She flies over to him and lands on his hat. "That sounds great."

"Hey! Where Nastasia?" Mimi asks.

"The last time Count Bleck saw her, she was cooking with Dimentio in the kitchen."

"She iz tryin' teh geht dat darn jesteh teh cook?"

"O'Chunks stop being a meanie. Cooking can help release feelings! You never know! Maybe he'll make a big bunch of brownies! He's a great cook and baker!"

* * *

Dimentio can't believe how much harder it is too bake without magic. His outfit is getting dirtied by sugar and brownie batter. Nastasia is behind him watching him stir the batter. She is writing something on her clipboard.

"Shall I put this onto the baking pan now?" He asks.

Nastasia looks at him. "Yes and remembered what we talked about. Treat other the way you want to be treated."

"But what if I take pleasure in someone trying to kill me? What if I like to survive and act like it never happened? I wouldn't mind that. Also, what are you writing on that clipboard of yours?"

Nastasia blinks. She was actually shocked to hear that, especially from him. Who in the world is going to enjoy being murdered? Has he seen the Investigation Discovery channel? From Goombas poisoning each other to Koopas throwing their family into a woodchipper... In what way would he exactly want to die? What is he a masochist?

"Uh... Dimentio? I have a questions for you."

"Ask away." He says while pouring the batter into the sheet pan.

Nastasia watches as the rest of the batter falls into the pan. "Has anyone told you that they... care about you?"

Dimentio slams the bowl onto the table. It begins to crack in a butterfly pattern. He turns around and meets her gaze. "Does it really matter?"

"Well... yes. It's nice to know when someone cares about you. Not everyone from the Caribbean says that they 'love' someone. They show it through their actions… depending on the family."

"This fanfic isn't a drama so please, just put the brownie batter in the oven."

Nastasia picks up the batter-filled sheet pan and walks over to the oven. She quickly turns around and looks at him. "Do you want a hug?"

"No thank you. Sexual harassment this early in the day is pretty scary."

Nastasia hisses. "I'm going to need you to—"

Mr. L runs into the kitchen and crashes into the refrigerator. He stays still for a few seconds for his vision clear up, then he smiles. "Hey guys! What's going on here?"

"We're making lunch." Nastasia answers. "So far we've made hamburgers, hot dogs, salad, and some fries."

"Wow," Mr. L looks at Dimentio. "Did you actually help out? You look like you've just tried to fix a clogged toilet and it exploded on you."

Dimentio ignores Nastasia's snickers in the background. "Oh Mr. L your insults are as bad as Donald Trump trying to become president."

"Who's Donald Trump?" Mr. L asks.

"You may not know but THEY know."

Mr. L blinks. "Uh... anyway, how about I help you guys out! Can make some strawberry lemonade? Trust me you guys will die."

"Alright so let Count Bleck try it and then I may consider." Dimentio says plainly.

Mr. L rolls his eyes. "I'll go get a pitcher."

He walks toward a cabinet over the sink and beings to look for a pitcher. Dimentio gives Nastasia a soul-stealing glare. "I'm going to my room to change."

"K, enjoy yourself. I have to go to my room to take care of some business anyway." She replies.

"Do you want to walk to our rooms together?"

Nastasia doesn't answer right away. She's shocked that he would ask that. Is he actually trying to follow the whole 'Treat others the way you want to be treated'?"

"Um... sure?"

"Then let's go." Dimentio looks over at Mr. L, who's filling a pitcher with water. "Mr. L please watch over the brownies. Nastasia and I might take a while. They should be in there for a good 45 minutes."

"Ok! I'll have the lemonade done by then anyway."

Dimentio and Nastasia leave the kitchen together in silence. Nastasia tries to break the ice. She doesn't want him to harass the Count again. What could she talk about? "So... uh... do you like pandas?"

"Ah ha ha!I love pandas!"

Nastasia smiles.

"Of course I love them when all their organs are removed and the eyes are gouged out. They stuff them with the softest Sleepy Sheep wool and give them adorable plastic brown eyes!"

The smile on Nastasia's face is instantly wiped away. She forces herself to talk. "Your insanity is above the treatment level."

"Thank you for the complement!" He replies. "You're starting to make me feel all weird inside."

"Is that heart of yours starting to melt?"

"No, don't get your hopes high, I skipped breakfast this morning."

"Are you a happy person when you're around other people?"

"No."

"Do you like food?"

"No."

"Do you like people?"

"No."

"Why do you keep on saying 'no'?"

"Because you sound like a four year old trying to have a conversation. Please stick to being an assistant."

Dimentio stops in front of a black door. "Here's your room."

Nastasia looks up at his purple and yellow eyes. "You need some love in your life."

"I'll wait until I'm married." He begins to walk away. "If you're going to take a nap, make sure you set up an alarm. I'm not going to wake you up."

"You're room is two doors down from mine. What's the excuse?"

"I'm going to be in the shower for a little bit and finish a book. Alone time is the best time."

Then he went into his room.

* * *

 **I like how Dimentio told Mr. L in his fantasy that he is still better than hm. If you look in the text you'll see what I mean!**

 **Have a good day/night!**

 **TheComingofEpic**


	2. Chapter 2

Mimi is wearing a green glittery sweatsuit with matching sneakers. She is using green glittery tape to tape her pictures to her door. O'Chunks is trying to find a way to put the door back on its hinges. He knows Mimi would blow a gasket if he doesn't fix it.

"Hey O'Chunks."

He shivers at her voice. "Yehs?"

"If you can't fix my door it's ok. You've redeemed yourself! You made me look like the model I was born to be and you made it easier to put the pictures on my door! I have a lot to thank you for Mister!"

"I dunt ned 'ny pruaise frum ya." He says. "Let meh help ya put ya dour up."

"Okey dokey!" Mimi moves away from the fallen door. O'Chunks picks it up and begins to play with the hinges. Mimi gasps. "You fix doors too?"

"Nah. I 'ave Koopa Glue. That should keep yar door fee a while."

"Thanks! Now let's stop and get something to eat! I'm starving!" She yells. "Let's see what's cooking down there!"

"K. Let meh jus' put yah door back on deh hinges."

"Okey dokey!" says Mimi.

O'Chunks picks up the door and glues it to the hinges with the Koopa glue. Mimi gives him a smirk and claps her hands together. "Good job! Now let's celebrate!"

The two of them begin to walk down the black and white hallway together. They see Nastasia's professional pink bun from far away. O'Chunks calls out to her.

"'Ey Nassie! How're yah doing?"

Nastasia turns around in an instant. She has an annoyed look on her face. Mimi's eyes lock onto a colorful drawing with some beautiful cursive on her clipboard. She gasps and her eyes begin to sparkle. Nastasia's eyes narrow in anger.

"Who's that for Nassie? If it's for me, I'll pretend that I never saw it so it'll be a surprise!" Mimi whispers with bright eyes.

"Well it's not for you. Maybe if I feel like it, I'll schedule you in for a drawing later."

O'Chunks cocks his head. "Dat handwritin' o' yers is purty funcy on dat drawin'. Who's et fur?"

"None of your business." Nastasia adjusts her glasses, making Mimi and O'Chunks take a step back in fear. She turns around and continues to walk down the hall. The shapeshifter and the warrior look at each other and started to shiver.

"Geez! And to think you have a thing for her! I think she'll destroy you if you ask her out at this rate."

O'Chunks's face turns red. "What ar'yah yappin' 'bout? I car' bout her like anyone else!"

Mimi glares at him. He sighs, "Fine. Yer right up in deh alley."

"Oh no no! I go right up in boutiques, malls, and jewelry stores! If you really want her then go and get her! You never know! That could be a love letter that she's going to send out to someone! Maybe it's Prince Peasly! Oh wait wait! Tubba Bubba! No... that wouldn't work! OH YES YES IT COULD BE MR. L!"

"...Mr. L?" He was speechless but forced himself to continue. "Don't yah mean Maria?"

"Mario? NO! He has ten chins so he's fat and he's with the Princess! Plus I highly doubt Nastasia would be interested in him anyway but think about it! She brainwashed his brother and turned him into Mr. L! She could do anything she wants with him!"

"But didn' she free 'im so he 'as free will?"

Mimi stomps her foot on the ground and begins to whine, "NO FAIR! THIS IS GOING TO BE HARD!"

"But 'ey, look at deh bright side! If yeh get meh with Nastasia, I'll 'elp yeh get deh man of yeh dreams!"

"Really?" She asks. "For me?"

"Yep! I swear on meh Warrior's Rules!"

"Okey dokey! Now let's get to the kitchen. I highly doubt she's still walking there."

* * *

Mr. L is pouring pink lemonade into champagne glasses while Nastasia's looking over the food. He's humming a random song and smiling like an idiot. Nastasia, on the other hand, keeps on glancing over at her colorful work and the brownies. She's wondering if she's doing the right thing.

Nastasia felt depressed when Tippi came back into the picture. She developed feelings for the Count and she believed that if Tippi never returned, he would developed feelings for her too. It took her a while to realize you can't change the past but you can make a better future for yourself. She doesn't want anyone to experience the same pain that she did.

The brownies smell irresistible. The fact that Dimentio actually took the time to make these from scratch still astonished her. Usually he would snap his fingers and a tray of delicious brownies would appear instantly. A small smile forms on Nastasia's face. Maybe he's beginning to warm up to the idea of being a bit nicer to others.

Mimi skips into the room with O'Chunks walking behind her. She picks up a plate and begins to look at the food. She smiles, "A barbecue food parade? I'm digging in!"

She begins to fill her plate up with ford. Mr. L follows in her footsteps and grabs a plate. "Don't grab everything! There are other people who need to eat too!"

Nastasia shakes her head. Why do they have to ask so childish, She asks herself. Suddenly she feels a burly hand on her shoulder. She didn't need to turn around to know it was O'Chunks. "What's wrong O'Chunks? Do you need my assistance in anything?"

"Oh nah. I jus' wanted teh know if yeh wanted meh to make a plate fer yah."

"No. I'm not hungry yet. Thanks for the offer though. Oh and you can remove your hand at any time." Nastasia feels his hand leave her shoulder. O'Chunks joins Mr. L, who's trying to put three hot dogs into his hamburger.

"Nastasia! Do you want any lemonade? It's a cute shade of pink!" Mimi says.

"Not right now." She answers.

She watches as everyone takes a seat at a nearby table. They begin to eat a laugh happily. She feels a bit lonely as they begin to joke around and eat like monsters. Maybe it won't hurt to have a glass of lemonade...

"Are you tired? It looks like you just came out of a law school final."

She can feel his multi colored eyes staring into her soul. She removes her drawing from her clipboard. "I have something for you."

"If it's another sanity test you need to promise—"

"No promises." She turns around and he takes it from her hands. "Read it and critique me as soon as you finished reading it."

Before Dimentio could respond Mr. L comes walking over with two champagne glasses filled with pink lemonade. "You guys deserve it after cooking all of this food!" Nastasia takes one from his hands while the jester stares at it.

"Did you mix this with anything like pesticides, sulfuric acid, and/or radioactive material?"

Mr. L shakes his head. "Nope, I'm hungry. I don't have time to get Raid, acid, and some uranium just for you. As you can see everyone is drinking it. I want you to appreciate my lemonade the same way I appreciate your cooking."

"Do you really think I—"

His eyes lock on Nastasia's glare. She has an unhappy look on her face. Dimentio takes in a deep breath and forces a smile onto his face. "Fine. I'll take it."

Mr. L hands it to him and smiles, "Aww! You're starting to care!"

"Shut your mouth."

Feeling as if he were stabbed in the heart by poison-laced daggers, Mr. L puts on a small smile and walks slowly back to his seat.

"You should listen to yourself when you speak. That was pretty harsh." lectures Nastasia.

"They say it takes 21 days to break a bad habit."

Nastasia clears her throat, "I'm going to see how the Count is doing. Don't do anything violent while I'm gone."

"I promise I will."

She narrows her eyes at him and walks away. From the table, Mr. L, Mimi, and O'Chunks are watching everything. O'Chunks's face is red with envy and anger. He couldn't help but think, why did Nastasia give that beautiful drawing to that insane jester and not him? Mr. L and Mimi are just as confused as him.

"Hey! I think I know why she gave that to him!" Mr. L whispers. "Maybe he's going back to the institution we put him in after he snapped!"

Mimi shakes her head. "No, that can't be it. Maybe she's just trying to be nice?"

"It can't beh so!" O'Chunks hisses. "I bet he ded sumtang teh 'ur."

"What could he have possibly done to a city state of Mesopotamia?"

Mimi and O'Chunks glare at him. Mr. L laughs nervously. "Do you guys... get it? It's like... a joke, 'cause this is supposed... to be a humor..."

"Anyway," Mimi says annoyed. "Maybe it's a gift of appreciation they did cook together."

Mr. L notices an enraged expression spread across the Scottish warrior's face. He moves his chair closer to Mimi. "What's with him?" he asks.

"He has a little crush on Nassie." Mimi answers with a smirk.

"'EY MIND YA OWN BEEZNUSS."

Dimentio watches his teammates bicker with each other. He sighs and takes a sip of the lemonade Mr. L gave him. He decides to read the note on the bottom-right.

 _Dear Dimentio,_

 _I remember when I used to be in the same situation as you. I was alone at one point. Everyone has to be alone at one point. Sometimes it's great to be alone, you can take lots of vacations, watch movies, write fanfictions, and more. Sadly, there will be pain, but at the end it's worth it. You'll meet lots of people and make new friends. I didn't have anyone with me when I was struggling so I'll be with you until the end and that's a promise._

 _Your friend,_

 _Nastasia_

 _Why did she waste her time making this SAPPY LETTER?_ The jester shakes his head. _I'm not going to lie, it's kinda cute._

Dimentio takes a good look at the drawing. He hates himself for not noticing this before. The picture Nastasia drew was them making the brownies. She was yelling at him for stirring the melted chocolate too hard, which resulted in him getting batter on his copyrighted uniform. Did she really take 45 minutes of her life to make this?

I _'ll always be with you until the end and that's a promise._

Her voiceover rings throughout his head. Dimentio feels a warm feeling spreading throughout his face. He finishes his lemonade but the feeling begins to get worse. He brings to wonder if he's having a fever.

The three minions are watching him from the table. Mimi and O'Chunks are shocked while Mr. L laughs to himself. The three of them can see the jester's brightened purple and yellow eyes from a mile away. He looks like a child seeing ice cream for the first time.

"That's weird! Did Nassie write something crazy on the paper?" Mimi asks out loud.

Mr. L gets up from his seat. "Only one way to find out." He walks up to the distracted jester. He expects a few slaps, kicks, or balls of energy to crush his ribs but none of that happened. Mr. L is right in front of Dimentio. Part of him is peeing in his pants in fear while the other part is coming up with great insults for him. "What's up D—"

Dimentio jumps back into a nearby wall. His head was lowered in embarrassment and his face was red all over. He gives Mr. L the biggest set of puppy eyes he's ever seen. "S-Sorry! I'm feeling a bit feverish. I may have to rest for a little while!"

Mr. L is flabbergasted. Those are eyes that belong to a two-year old! How can an insano like him say that without a hint of malice? Even when he said phrases like that, he would still have some evil aura or intent but it's gone.

It's gone...

That kindness formula worked!

"Let me help you of the floor!" Mr. L smiles and offers his hand.

The puppy eyes immediately disappear and become venomous daggers that would destroy any soul that dared to cross them. He doesn't say anything but he growls. Mr. L backs up with a frown of horror upon his face. Dimentio stares at him and snaps his fingers. In an instant he's gone.

"Whut 'n blazin' pits was dat?" O'Chunks asks.

"He looked like an innocent toddler! Did Nastasia give him an enchanted note? He would've seen through that!" Mimi shrieks.

"Well maybe it's because I—" Mr. L shuts his mouth. He wouldn't want the others to know about his potion. What if they get their hands on it? Being friends with every killer, Toad, and Boo doesn't sound interesting at all. He must save it just in case someone wants to be a jerk to him.

"Maybe it's because you what?" quizzes Mimi.

"Maybe it's because I made a great pitcher of lemonade! He was shocked at the taste and disappeared so he wouldn't have to compliment me."

O'Chunks shrugs his shoulder. "It sounds like 'im I guess."

Mr. L sighs. It was hard coming up with that giant lie in a few seconds.. Dimentio ran away because he knew something was wrong with the lemonade. Sadly, the kindness is going through his system like a spicy wasabi, hard shell taco filled with meat, beans, and peppers. He won't know what hit him!

"Well now that's out of the way..." says Mimi. "let's plan a vacation! I think we deserve it!"

"How's dat goin' help meh with Nastasia?" O'Chunks asks.

"Shh!" Mimi says. "I have my ways!"

Mr. L rolls his eyes. "Where are we going to go? It's winter which means billions of blizzards! Even if we go to a warm place, you won't have any clothes for that season."

Mimi's eyes begin to tear up. O'Chunks glares at Mr. L. "Why're yeh makin' the lass cry?

"S-she is?" Mr. L sees tears roll down the shapeshifter's face. "Sorry! I didn't mean to! I— will buy you some clothes if we do go on vacation!"

All the tears are replaced with a smile. "Goodie! I don't want to be some has been trendsetter! There are people out there that adore my fashion sense!"

* * *

Tippi and the Count are in the black and white meeting room. They're lying on the floor looking up at the ceiling. Both of them are thinking about different things from the Pure Hearts, to their marriage, to children and beyond.

"...Is it sad that I think of the minions as our children?" Count Bleck asks.

"Well they do act like it sometimes. If they were our children though, this would be one messed up family. The eldest daughter loves the father yet the father loves his wife and the younger daughter and his sons go out killing and wreaking havoc on people but little did the father know that his... youngest son was going to kill him to take over the universe?"

Count Bleck groans. "That sounds like an African movie or a Japanese animation."

"Try Japanese video game plot."

"Ha ha very funny remarks Count Bleck."

"Are you ever going to stop talking in the first person? It's irking me to the max. You've been talking normally for a while."

"Count Bleck says... Maybe not."

"You're doing it on purpose."

"Anyway Count Bleck says as he changes the subject, if they were our kids how would it all begin?"

Tippi groans at his question. What is he a narrator? "I would be human, obviously... Uh... Nastasia would be the first born, then O'Chunks, next would be Mimi, after her is Mr. L, and finally there's Dimentio."

"Okay then, Count Bleck says. Why did O'Chunks turn out the way he did?"

"You used to smoke six cigarettes at once around me when I was pregnant."

"Well played—"

Tippi sighs and smiles.

"Concurs Count Bleck."

Tippi growls and flies until she lands on his noise. "I'm going to cut your tongue."

"Such gruesome words coming from a beautiful butterfly."

"But my threat worked didn't it?"

The both of them begin to laugh loudly. Little did they know, Nastasia is at watching behind a cracked door. She would love to have what the Count and Tippi are having. She can imagine it now. Her and her soulmate playing each other, cooking together, talking, and helping each other...

She snaps out of thoughts. _No. I have to be focused on working with Count Bleck. My future husband would either have to meet me here or wait until my job is done. Nastasia pushes the door wide open. It's high-pitched creak makes Count Bleck jump off the floor and Tippi flies onto his hat._

Count Bleck speaks first. "Oh hello Nastasia, how are you doing?"

"I'm doing well Father." The word makes Count Bleck wince and Tippi giggle. "I came to check up on you since you were interrupted earlier."

"Thank you for caring." Tippi replies. "But you shouldn't eavesdrop on a couple's conversation! I wonder whose side of the family she got that from."

Count Bleck holds in laugh. "I know you guys are looking for some action and I promise there will be some missions coming your way. For now just rest. As soon as there's a mission, I call you so you can round everyone up for a meeting."

"K. See you later." Nastasia walks out of the room and closes the door. As soon as the door closes she sees Dimentio across from her. He looks like an institutional serial killer. She holds in a scream.

"Were you eavesdropping?" She asks.

"Yes I was, camouflaging with the black walls runs in the family." His eyes are staring her down.

"Uh… is there a problem?" She feels like the walls are caving in on her.

He blushes, "You've gotten cuter."

"I've been like this since Day One." Nastasia points out.

"Nope. You've changed. Are you still on your goat food diet?"

Nastasia groans. Her 'goat food diet' is basically all vegetables and no meat. Dimentio has been on her case about how she should at least have a burger a week because meat is basically the greatest part of all three meals. He even dared to ask her if she was eating like that to make her thighs smaller. That day ended with him having a black-eye. Maybe this conversation will end with him having a concussion if he keeps this up.

"Save all of your comments for later." She hisses.

"I was just going to say that you should stop your healthy eating diet. You might become anemic from being a vegetarian. There are some fried turkey legs in the fridge. It's fine to have a bit of junk food once in awhile."

Nastasia shakes her head. "No. I have to be an example for everyone else. Sooner or later you guys will stop eating pizza, fries, triple cheeseburgers and such."

"No we won't," he replies bluntly, "Everyone except O'Chunks and I make fun of you. The two of us just feel bad for you. Everytime we go out to get something to eat we think of you while we're eating."

Nastasia tries to hide her anger but her face shows that she's vexed. She decides to change the subject. "Thanks for your concern. I'm going to my room to read a book."

"You're not going to take a nap?" He asks.

"Why would I take a nap? I have plenty of work to do while eating turkey legs."

"You didn't take a nap earlier. You used that time to make me a beautiful picture. At least take a thirty minute nap."

"You shouldn't be talking to me about taking a nap! Your cheeks are red and you look like you're sweating! I think you have a fever!" She points out.

Dimentio thinks for a minute. He does feel unusually hot. If he's blushing then that's a red flag, Haitian people don't blush no matter how light or dark you are! Maybe he DOES have a fever. But if he has a fever shouldn't he feel cold?

"How can I have a fever if I don't feel cold?"

"I don't know or care. We're going to walk to your room before you collapse or something happens to the dimentional time rift again."

"That was when I had the flu. Every time I sneezed or coughed the rift got bigger and bigger! But those were good times." the jester says with a smile.

"Easy for you to say." she sighs. "I turned into a boy, saw my Toad children, and turned White.

"Being a boy isn't bad. Being White brings horrifying aging. Toads taste good when they're roasted and barbequed."

"How are you getting Toad meat? In the areas around us it's illegal."

"Well I know this Shy Guy—"

The both of them start to walk through the halls of the castle. Nastasia never knew that it was possible to have a 'normal' conversation with this joker. Maybe if you take the time to know him he'll open up to you. Since he's a villain he has to put up some cold personality so people won't think he's some sensitive punk.

"Do Goombas taste good with teriyaki sauce?" Nastasia quizzes. "I like teriyaki sauce with everything."

He thinks for a second. "I think they do. It depends if you fry or bake them."

"Speaking of frying and baking," Nastasia stops in front of door, "you're face looks horrifying, Go to bed. I'm not going to be a witness if you faint or develop hyperthermia."

Dimentio gives her a small frown. There was something different about this frown. He was ACTUALLY sad. The frown was so sincere that Nastasia frowns as well. This is one of the few times in her villain career that she actually feels for him!

"I'll just hop into bed." He says sadly.

The secretary sighs, "I'll put you in bed since you're acting like a child."

"Thank you!" he replies cheerfully.

Nastasia is awestruck. Not a single comeback or threat. Just a nice and happy 'Thank you'. He is definitely sick. they walk into his room and Nastasia is greeted by millions of brown eyes small and big.

Pandas are everywhere. Some are big while some are small.

"...You're… room is…" Nastasia forces these words out of her mouth. She expected dried up blood, axes, a dissecting kit, and other gruesome stuff. Instead she's surrounding by hilarious pictures of different events that happened at the castle and a few from Men's Night Out, which is basically when all the guys go out to spend time together.

"My room is pretty unique. I think i might have the largest collection of pandas in the world!" Dimentio laughs as he jumps onto his bed.

Nastasia picks up a small panda bear with a pink bow on its head. It's smiling at with its adorable brown eyes. She closes the door behind her and walks up to the jester. She places the panda on his chest.

"Oh I almost forgot about this panda! I got her at a minion conference a few years ago. Her name is Pandabella."

Nastasia holds in a laugh. "You name them?"

"When you love something you'll try to make them as realistic as possible."

"You do have a point." Nastasia smiles at him. "Get some rest now 'k? I'll wake you up if we have a mission."

"Okay see you!" He returns a lovely smile.

Nastasia leaves the room. She closes the door behind her, leaving a mentally distraught jester. He can't believe that he told her where he receives his Toad, goomba, shy guy, and koopa meat from. He let her into his room with the most questionable Men's Night Out pictures known to the villains with the dirtiest minds. Oh and how can he forget? He let her touch one of his pandas!

 _For a smart jester you just did something pretty stupid. Why would you accept lemonade from the coworker you hate the most? He checked out an experiment book from the library. It should be obvious that he drugged it._

He sighs. Dimentio doesn't know what kind of substance Mr. L put in there! Whatever he put in there like poison, something that'll turn him into a ragdoll, or a bomb, his body is trying to fight it. Even though he feels pretty hot, the jester's kinda happy that he's not throwing up or having the runs.

 _Maybe the substance he added into the lemonade isn't that powerful. By the time I wake up I'll be as harsh as a dictator and as manipulative like a cellphone service provider!_

Dimentio hugs the panda on his chest and falls asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Mr. L runs into his room. He shuts the doors and locks it as fast as he can. He takes off his hat and ten boxes of baking soda fall onto the floor. He smiles at the ten gallons of Pianta Spring filled with a bright pink liquid. Mr. L picks up a box and opens it up.

"It feels so good to be deceptive!" He sings to himself.

He opens a gallon with a smirk plastered on his face. Immediately, Mr. L pours the baking soda in. The potion begins to fizz, in an instant it becomes a pink powder. He sighs happily. These are the results he expected. Now Mr. L can carry the powdered potion in a snack bag without worrying about spills. Plus, he doesn't know if the potion can wear off. In case it did, Mr. L will try to sneak it into the jester's meals, beverages, and clothes. As long as he can get Dimentio to praise him and make him feel like a real ruler, he'll keep on using the potion and try to keep it a secret from the others.

The Green Thunder opens a nearby snack bag. He carefully pours the powder into the baggie. He holds his breath to avoid inhaling the potion. He closes the bag as soon as it hits the seal line. He seals it together and places it on his desk. Then, Mr. L takes the leftover gallons of the potion and stuffs it in the back of his closet. Finally, he decides to hide the baking soda under his bed.

"That was a quick clean up!" He whispers to himself. "You've impressed yourself as usual Mr. L."

A row of monstrous knocks slam into the villain's door. Mr. L responds with a mix of squeals and yells. "IT'S OPEN."

The door bursts open to reveal Mimi with an ice cream sundae in her hand. She has an innocent smile on her face. It's as if she wanted to make Mr. L doubt that a small young, petite girl like her would never punch a few holes in a door. Mr. L jeers at her with emotionless eyes. She shrugs her shoulders and skips up to him.

"What are you doing? I saw you carrying a bunch of Leg and Screwdriver boxes!" Mimi asks.

Mr. L groans, "Why can you just say—"

"Ask me when you start paying for copyright infringement."

He sighs but continues. "I was trying out something. There are many fields of Science out there. Who said that I only need to be in the Field of Robotics?"

"But still!" Mimi persits.

Mr. L begins to look around for the DIY book he used as a reference for the potion. He needs to come up with a good excuse or Mimi the violent, petite shapeshifter woman with her wacky ways might weasel the truth out of him.

"Let me get my book first, it's in my room on the bookshelf." He lies.

He walks to the nearby bookshelf and starts to look for a book that will fortify his lie. Mr. L starts pulling out books that have scientific experiments as its topic. He spots the green-haired woman sitting a wheelie chair at his desk. The Green Thunder smiles at Mimi as she puts a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth.

"Show me the page of the experiment." She says blandly.

Mr. L's insides begin to panic. His body begins to sweat while his heart starts to beat rapidly. What proof could he possibly have? For all he knew, he could have left that book in Count Bleck's private office in the back of the castle!

He begins flipping through the pages of the books at lightning speed. So far, none of the books have a single experiment with baking soda. This makes him want to freak out. What if Mimi catches on to his kindness potion? Would he have to use it on her too?

While Mr. L is beginning to have a mental breakdown, Mimi is staring at his desk.

Well, a pink baggie on his desk.

It sparked something in her as soon as her eyes laid on the sealed pink powder. Why is it in a snack bag? Why is it pink? Is this the baking soda experiment? If it is, why didn't Mr. L so her this from the get go? Is it unfinished? Toxic? Dangerous? Radioactive? Explosive? She had to give it to this powder in a bag, it has peaked her curiosity.

 _Well he does owe me for making me cry earlier..._ She thinks to herself. _Maybe I can put on ice cream? You can never have too much ice cream in one day!_

She opens the bag. Immediately, a sweet passion fruit scent radiates from the bag. Mimi takes it all in, she feels at peace. It smells so beautiful! The shapeshifter closes the bag and jumps off the chair. She walks over to the door. Mr. L hears her small footsteps and turns to face her.

"Why are you leaving?" He asks in a distraught tone.

"I got bored waiting for you. It's okay and forget it. Do whatever you want with the baking soda, just replace what you use when it's your turn to buy groceries. If you need me I'm in the kitchen." She replies.

Mr. L blinks in disbelief. He should have seen that coming. "Okay. See you. Just close the door on your way out."

"Okey dokey!" Mimi shouts. When she reaches the door she takes a good look at the bag and turns around.

 _I hope he thinks that he misplaced this stuff as well~_

She turns back around and closes the door. Mimi starts to skip in the hallway involuntarily. So far today has been a good day for her. No meanie tricks from Dimentio, no missions, Nastasia's not bothering her to clean her room, and O'Chunks needs help from her to catch Nastasia's eyes.

Out of nowhere, Mimi's chest begins to hurt a bit. She stops skipping and looks down at her empty ice cream sundae bowl and the mystery pink powder. Her mind takes her back to a time when Nastasia was lecturing the castle on eating healthier dishes. Everyone agreed with what she said as soon as she asked "Do you understand", but right after O'Chunks had a four-layered burger with barbecued fries with pork on top. She remembered joining him until Nastasia caught them. The both of them ran and hid from her for a week.

Mimi giggles at the memory. She continues to skip to the kitchen. Not only can she get herself another ice cream sundae, but she'll also be able to try this mysterious pink powder. She couldn't help but think it's some kind of homemade candy thing that Mr. L wanted to keep for himself. Too bad for him, everything in this castle gets shared. From food, to clothes, to viruses, whenever someone has one thing, everyone will have it by the end of the day or if they're lucky, the week.

When she gets into the kitchen silence welcomes her. She sits down in a nearby chair, opens the snack bag, and pours some of the passion fruit scented mystery onto the spoon. Mimi hesitantly puts it in her mouth. She gasps in disbelief.

It tastes beautiful. It tastes just the way it smells. The taste envelopes her taste buds and she lays her head down on the table with joy flowing through her. It's if she's on vacation! Why would Mr. L make something like this and keep it for himself? He needs to remember that this castle is a community!

 _It's as if this was sent from the Overthere. Grambi must have laid his hands upon it_.

Mimi pours more powder onto the spoon. She lets it melt on her tongue. This is the best candy she has ever tasted. Part of her felt resentment toward the Green Thunder. Why didn't he tell anyone about this? Did he just finish making it? Was he planning on adding something to enhance its flavor?

That's when she remembered his comment from earlier. The comment that destroyed Mimi's hope to go on vacation. That's when it hit her. Mr. L must have made this as an apology! She puts more 'candy' on the spoon and puts it in her mouth. The resentment she felt for him earlier instantly disappears.

"Ah, this stuff is delicious. This would make a great icee flavor. I should make some later."

"'Ey Mimi. What're yeh doing?"

Mimi turns to her left to see O'Chunks. She closes up the bag of 'candy' and smiles at him. Her great mood increases drastically, causing her heart to leap happily. "Hey tall, big, and handsome! I'm good. In fact, I feel amazing. If this mood keeps up for the rest of the day, I'll try to make some icees."

"Dat's dandy and all but what about me and—"

"Nastasia? Ever thought that she's not interested?" The hostile, rude tone in her voice shocks the both of them. She blushes and covers her mouth. O'Chunks stares at her in astonishment. She would never snap like that, and that includes her fashion breakdowns!

"S-S-Sorry! I'm so sorry! I don't know why I sounded like a witch! Like... I can SHAPESHIFT into one but I'm not but you might think I am one because of how crazy I sounded! How could I SAY something like that and you're my friend! HowcouldIdothistoyounowyouhatemeand..."

O'Chunks calmly removes Mimi's hands from her face. She gasps and looks down to the floor.

"Look Mimi, don't beh so hard on yerself. If yeh don't want to, yeh don't have teh help meh. Yeh're usually happeh 'n' upbeat. Keep dat beautiful personality of yehs."

"..." Mimi is speechless. She didn't expect O'Chunks to say those words with such a calm, relaxing tone. Usually he would be yelling things like his dedication to Count Bleck or tell stories about his time at war. This is unusual for him. Mimi can't help but think that their personalities are similar in a way.

"Are yeh okay?" He asks softly.

"Y-Yeah... thanks for your little pep talk or whatever you would call it." She replies in a hushed tone.

O'Chunks's face becomes red, "Ah it's nothing. I can't have a nice lass like you stay down in teh dumps! I care about yeh and everyone else in tiz castle."

"Awww... thanks." She says, she feels her cheeks burning. Her heart begins to beat faster.

"Now I'll be going." the warrior walks out of the kitchen. "I'll see you—"

Mimi grabs his hand before he could continue. She doesn't know why she is acting in this manner. Is she dreaming, did someone put a spell on her, or are they her true inner feelings? O'Chunks looks at her and automatically her mouth starts spewing words out.

"I still don't understand why you want to be with Nassie! If she doesn't feel the same way I don't want you to be heartbroken! Just have ME instead! We like to do some crazy things. We fight, eat, sing horribly, and more! So how bout it?"

Now it's O'Chunks turn to be speechless. Mimi would never act like this. When it comes to boys, she's shy and quiet plus she overdoes the makeup. Why would she confess to him right now? She promised him that she'll get Nastasia to give him a chance! Could this be part of her plan?

"O'Chunks answer me already! You can't keep your girl waiting!"

"Sure. I'll give... us a chance." He finally says.

Mimi's eyes are big and bright with joy. She gives the warrior a bear hug. She squeals with uncontrollably. "YAY YAY YAY! I promise you that I'll be the best girlfriend you've ever had! We can even call each other with nicknames! How does that feel my little Scotti?"

"Huh? 'Scotti'?" O'Chunks begins to doubt the fact that Mimi's playing a game. This sounds too realistic for him. Did he actually agree to date her?

"Yep! Do you... hate it?"

The moment he hears the sadness in her voice, he winces. "No no no! I like it... meh lil'... Green Bean. It sounds better than Chunky."

"That's true. I'll go make icees for the whole castle. You'll get to taste it first Scotti."

"That will have to wait."

Mimi and O'Chunks turn around to see Nastasia. She has her hands on her hips with angry eyes. Mimi pouts at her. "But why? I have something that'll make the best icees you've ever tasted!"

"There's a mission. It's urgent."

"How 'urgent'? Mimi quizzes.

"It's Toad Task Force urgent."

Mimi grabs O'Chunks and starts to drag him down the hall. "Let's get ready Scotti! I need you to help me pick out my wardrobe."

"Please bring your coats!" Nastasia shouts as they turn the corner.

Mr. L walks past Mimi and O'Chunks with a confused expression on his face. Nastasia walks up to him. He waves at her with a smile. She smiles briefly at him. Nastasia notices that Mr. L looks deranged. His hat is sideways, the usual combed brown hair looks like a dead racoon, and his clothes look like he's been in a volcano.

"Why." She says plainly.

"I lost something... important... I'm going crazy looking for it... I left it on my desk and then it disappeared and I don't know if I misplaced it because Mimi was in my room but I only saw her leave with her ice cream sundae bowl so—"

"Mr. L—"

"Then I started destroying my room looking for it and I couldn't find it. If I don't find it I don't know what will happen to our universe! We may go to other dimensions like the Animation Dimension or the Sci-Fi dimension... or even worse the... the FAN DIMENSION."

"Well sucks for you this is a fanfiction so I guess whatever 'it' is., losing it didn't really change anything."

"Nastasia please answer me truthfully. Do you care?"

"No. Now go change your clothes and run over to the meeting room. I'll meet you there. Oh and bring a coat."

Nastasia leaves the distraught mechanic alone in the halls. She walks down to the area with the minion rooms. She stops in front of the jester's room. Nastasia notices that the door is slightly ajar. She takes a peek to see Dimentio tossing and turning with strange poses every time he stops. She holds in a laugh. Who knew someone who judges people for pig-like manners sleeps like a monster?

She walks slowly toward the sleeping monster. He might go insane if she woke him up from his nap. Plus he might kick her by accident but knowing herself, she might smack him with a high heel. Nastasia arrives to the bed and looks down at the jester. He's making one of those kungfu kicks you would see in the movies.

She begins to shake him. "Wake up."

No response.

She shakes him harder. "Wake up!"

"L-Leave me... alone." He mumbles.

"We have a mission. You need to get up."

He slowly opens his eyes. "Nastasia... is that... you?"

"Yes. Now can you get up or is your fever keeping you bedridden?"

He smiles at her and sits up in his bed. "Nope I feel brand new! I'm sorry for waking up with such a bad attitude. You woke me up from a beautiful dream."

How can you have a 'beautiful' dream while sleeping like a monster? She thinks to herself. "You can tell me about it later. This mission is urgent."

He pouts and jumps off the bed. "Well that's depressing. I'll freshen up. You can leave me."

"K. I'll see you in the meeting room."

Before she could leave, Dimentio pulls her into hug. Nastasia doesn't know how to react so she gives him a hug too. The secretary couldn't believe how quickly he pulled her into a hug. Has his fever made him delusional? But he doesn't feel warm at all! He has to be perfectly fine!

RIGHT?!

"Get there safely. See you later My Love."

Nastasia's eyes get wider. Her glasses fall off her face. She catches them before they can fall onto the floor. She pulls away from him and cleans her glasses. "Yeah I will. Just get ready."

"Okay!" He sings cheerfully with a red face.

Nastasia quickly runs out of the room. She closes the door behind her. The world seems to stop for a few minutes. Dimentio hugging? Physical contact without a weapon with someone else? Since when?

And he BLUSHES? There is something wrong here.

* * *

"My father almost cut up my legs and pelvis when he found out I married Timpani. He runs the inter dimensional black market that's under another dimension's 'White House'. In fact he owns a corporation called White House | Black Market that same dimension! I remember running away in horror when I saw his surgical tools. Ha. He actually threw a knife at me but it ricochet right into his left eye. I'll tell you guys what happened next later… HAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHAHAHA!"

Mr. L's mouth is wide open in disbelief. He's standing on his box imagining the horror of having someone in his family trying to sell part of him to the Black Market. Something else about the Count's story horrified him as well. Why does he sound so happy? Why is he comfortable telling this story without a care in the world?

"Count Bleck! That's scary!" Mimi squeals as she squeezes O'Chunks's hand.

"I remember when you thought I was scary..." O'Chunks mumbles.

Mimi gasps and begins to pat him on the back. "Don't worry Scotti! That was all in the past! Please don't hold me accountable for what happened in the past! It's different now, my eyes have been opened! I'll repeat this until my words pierce your heart just as you did: I love you."

The whole room is silent in shock. They watch as Mimi begins to hug and rub her cheeks against his. Mr. L involuntarily cringes at the sight. Is Mimi desperate for love or is she ACTUALLY interested in him?

Count Bleck and Tippi give each other strange looks... Tippi is the first to speak. "Uh.. has anyone seen Nastasia and Dimentio? We can't start without them."

"Last time I saw her she was going to get that insano." Mr. L grunts.

"Maybeh he waz sleepin'." O'Chunks suggests.

The Count's eyes grow in horror. "Alright guys here's the deal, there's a closet with a few coffins in them. Paint her name on them, I'll make the obituary and—"

Immediately, the door bursts open. Everyone eyes lock onto the secretary. She has an unreadable expression on her face. She walks silently down the meeting room. Mr. L decides to break the tense atmosphere.

"So... Nastasia... are you feeling well? You look sick? Are you cramping or did the Starman Witnesses start to call you again?"

"No." She claps her hands and she's immediately teleported to the top of her box. "I was thinking."

"About the lives we don't have according to HEROES Mangazine?" Count Bleck guesses.

"No."

"Then what're yeh thinkin' bout Nassie?" O'Chunks asks.

"I'm thinking about love."

Her words stab everyone in the heart. Mr. L takes a few steps back and almost falls off his box. Mimi's eyes widen in anger and envy. She squeezes O'Chunks hand until a popping sound can be heard. Tippi flies behind her husband. Count Bleck glares at Nastasia with the craziest smiley face in history.

"YOU thinking about love?! You mean the love life you NEVER HAD?" He says with a giant smile.

Mimi snaps. "Hey there Count! She had a crush on you before that butterfly came into the picture!"

Tippi stares at Mimi in horror. She could've sworn her wings stopped flapping for a few milliseconds. Who knew Mimi could have her words come out like poison-filled daggers?

"Well you know that little crush you had was canon. But we're too good for that. This is noncanon where all the fans feel bad for the rest of you guys because none of you have a beautiful spouse and an even beautifuller marriage."

Mr. L snorts. "Some marriage you have. Your wife was on that lizard\iguana's... fetish forums with some CLOSE UP HIGH DEF LENSES. Oh and how can I forget? SHE'S A BUTTERFLY. The thing people keep in cages and let them free when they're ready to be on their own and one second later the 'beautiful butterfly' gets hit by a plane!"

Count Bleck and Tippi gasp in unison. How could the Green Thunder say such a thing?

"Plus the word 'beautifuller' isn't even in the dictionary so that means you just made up something to make your marriage sound like something that everyone envies and longs for. The fact that you had to make up a word to describe your marriage just tells everyone that your marriage is an atrocity." Mimi adds.

"MIMI!" Count Bleck and Tippi say in horror.

Nastasia's eyes are wide in shock. Her glasses start to slip off the top of her nose. "That's a mouthful Mimi. I'm impressed. I never expected this sort of thing from you."

"Are you people finished with your bickering?"

Everyone looks at Mr. L. He raises his hands up. "That wasn't me, I was definitely going to add on to Mimi's debate!"

Everyone looks behind the mechanic to see the jester sitting down with a look of annoyance. Count Bleck clears his throat. "Sorry. We didn't notice that you came. We were in a great debate about my marriage with my beautiful wife."

Dimentio glares at the Count in disbelief. "The two of you exchanged vows in an area between dimensions, which is also known as an Interdimensional highway. Am I right?"

Count Bleck smiles. "Why yes! Yes you are!"

"The last time I check, most accidents happen on a highway."

Mimi buries her face into the warrior's back. She tries to stifle her giggling. Nastasia turns away from everyone. She didn't want anyone to see the big grin on her face. Mr. L stands on his box in silence. All he could do is blink. He was flabbergasted.

Tippi notices that her husband is shaking with a blank expression on his face. "Blu—Count Bleck! Are you okay?"

The Count forces a smile on his face. "Just dandy! All of them are just jealous of our beautiful relationship. All of them are going to die old and alone anyway!" He looks down at the jester with evil eyes. "Don't go to sleep tonight. I will choke you to death. I might kill you by slitting your throat."

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" Mr. L shouts. "K+! Think of the children."

"Our game has suicidal themes. A girl who looks seven breaking her neck, a world was destroyed so 1.3 trillion people dead right there, we went to hell and back, and etc. We still received an E for everyone rating so shut up Mr. L!" Count Bleck yells.

Dimentio rolls his eyes. "You're threats are as empty as the Void. Shut up and tell us what we have to do."

Count Bleck mumbles a few unfriendly words to himself. He turns around to see Nastasia laughing silently. "NASTASIA DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO I HAVE SOME RECOLLECTING TO DO!"

Nastasia quickly turns around. "FIne. Our job is to capture the TSC* AKA the Toad Science Committee that's researching dimensional travel in Cool, Cool Mountain—"

"What's with the *?" Mr. L asks.

"Mr. L watch your mouth!" Tippi demands.

"No! He wants to know why the * is there?" Mimi argues.

"How dare y—"

"Since they are a science committee, they have the * as a star." Nastasia explains.

"But we're going to a place filled with snow so wouldn't it be a snowflake?" Mr. L asks.

"Mr. L shut up and let the seductive secretary speak." Dimentio hisses.

Mr. L gasps. "Why are you such a meanie?"

"Dimmy has always been a meanie! His parents must be häitien." Mimi points out.

"Count Bleck can't help but ask why does Mimi know French and it doesn't have to do with fashion? But at the same time she does have a point." Count Bleck says. Tippi groans.

Nastasia clears her throat. "Can I continue?" She asks with an annoyed tone.

"Oh yeah. Sure, fishing for attention again?"

The secretary growls at the Count. "Our job is to steal a 128GB USB with all of the Mushroom Kingdom's information.

"That sounds fun. I'll get a jacket." Dimentio says.

"I thought you liked the fact of having hypothermia and frostbite." Count Bleck taunts.

"Oh it's not for me." He points to Nastasia. "It's for the lovely lady."

Nastasia takes a step back. Those words would never come out of his mouth without a sarcastic remark. She watches as he teleports out of the room. Count Bleck looks at her then at Tippi. He whispers into her… antennas.

"There's something going on." He says. "If he's being nice then that means someone is dead or is going to die."

Tippi shakes her head. "No. He probably wants something from Nastasia."

"What does she have that's likeable? She's all work and no—"

"She has every key for each room, library, closet, and dance hall in this castle. That includes your private study and our room just saying." Tippi reveals.

"Who's the dumb—"

"You gave them to her." She sighs.

"Darn it!" He whines.

"Just get a coat. We'll join them for the mission."

Count Bleck grumbles to himself but teleports out of the room. O'Chunks jumps down from his box with Mimi clinging onto him. Mr. L looks at Nastasia. She was looking up at the ceiling. She's thinking hard about something.

"What's wrong? You're not the one to daze off." He asks.

"I'm thinking."

Of course Nastasia's going to keep her response as brief as possible. She's not really the one to express her emotions. She's all work and no fun. The Green Thunder decides to leave the meeting room so she can have her alone time to think while he gets his coat.

While walking down the black hallways of Castle Bleck, Mr. L decides to do some thinking of his own. The potion isn't working. The jester is still as fresh as ever. The only different thing about him is that he's being nice to Nastasia. Why would he get her a coat? The only coat Mr. L can see him giving her is one made of butter so she can bake in an oven! Everyone knows he's not the nicest villain on .mk. He's as violent as you can get after the whole 2007 incident and that 2013 Hurricane that happened in another dimension, but those are other stories.

Also, Mimi is strangely attracted to O'Chunks. Either she's desperate or she actually has feelings for the big brute. Plus, she's smarter now. She used to talk like some stereotypical teenage girl that's all about shopping and gossip. Now she sounds professional and you can take her… seriously.

Who would actually take Mimi SERIOUSLY?

The poor Scottish warrior can't even remove her from his back. It's as if she's Donkey Kong glued to him. It's pretty scary. He would love to help the warrior but Mimi might claw him to death, but the way she's acting now, she might kill him! Who would want the amazing Mr. L to die?

You can put your hands down.

* * *

The team arrives at the windy summit of Cool, Cool Mountain about an hour later. They would have been there sooner if they didn't have to pry Mimi off of O'Chunks's back. They also had to find some walkie-talkies just in case an avalanche happened or etc. Everyone except Count Bleck, Dimentio, and Nastasia has a coat on. What about the coat Dimentio got for her, you might ask.

She burned it. She has a love complex.

Anyway… Count Bleck is watching Tippi fly around in the snow. The minions are working hard looking for footprints or supplies left by the TSC*.

"I hear toads but I don't see them." Dimentio says.

"Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Now you have schizophrenia? We might have to go back to Happy Toad Town Mental Hospital after all!" Count Bleck yells.

The jester retorts, "Is this coming from the same 'sane' person who has a fur coat and hat for a butterfly?"

Count Bleck stands still and silent, trying to make a comeback in his head. Nastasia breaks him out of his thoughts with a demanding tone.

"We're going to split up and look around the area. Get into groups and spread out."

Count Bleck and Tippi run away into the eastern part of the snow-filled land. O'Chunks sighs, He picks up Mimi and puts her on his back. She squeals happily.

"We'll go north because the way our relationship is going, it's heading UP!" Mimi squeals.

Mr. L and Dimentio motioned for her to quiet down while Nastasia feels her ears pop from Mimi's high-pitched squeal. She points north and O'Chunks starts walking. "ONWARD!" She shouts.

This leaves Nastasia, Dimentio, and Mr. L as a group. The three of them exchange looks with each other. "Let's go west." They say in unison.

Then they went off.

* * *

 **Tippi and Count Bleck–– East 12:17:07**

"It's really snowing on this side of the mountain. The summit only had wind as an obstacle." Tippi says loudly.

"It's okay Timpani. Our love is as warm as a sunset in the summer! It will conquer the coldest of colds and things like that." Count Bleck replies.

"You're so passionate about our relationship." Tippi says sarcastically.

"Thanks!" He says without noticing her sarcasm.

Count Bleck is trudging through knee-deep snow. The sky looked with it's gray clouds of foreboding doom, sooner or later this blizzard will stop soon and become a full-blown snowstorm. They would have to try their best to find at least a member or some trace of a TSC* member.

"Tippi," the Count says. "you're an information pixl, can you determine when these clouds are going to excrete?"

Tippi stops flying and looks at him. "Excrete is a term for LIVING things. You used the word wrong. You sound like a little kid."

Count Bleck inhales, getting ready for a lecture.

"I'll lecture you another time. We have 90 minutes AKA an hour and a half to find the TSC* in this area."

"Alright! Do you have any ideas for us to find these toads?" He asks.

 _Why do I have to come up with the ideas?_ She sighs. "You can try your best to talk like a Toad. That should attract them."

"Well this isn't going to be challenging. A man with a beautiful, deep voice like mine must be able to crack a few times to make Toads come into his clutches."

"You sound like a molester."

"Thanks for the encouragement Honey." He responds nonchalantly.

They continue to venture through the snow until they see a few ovular footprints in the snow. Count Bleck almost rejoices when he sees them. Tippi flies down to examine them to see if it's worth getting excited about.

"You're lucky they're Toad footprints. You can celebrate but we have to keep on going before the snow starts destroying us." Tippi warns.

Count Bleck nods his head. He keeps on treading through the snow, faster this time. He starts to follow the footprints. The snow keeps on covering them in a few seconds, which irritates the Count.

Tippi, on the other hand, is enjoying herself. She flying through the snowflakes as graceful as possible. She likes the feeling of them landing on her antennas. She also loves her little fur coat and little hat that Blumiere made for her. She loves her husband as much as he loves her.

But he has problems.

 _Why does he still call himself Count Bleck? Two thousand and seven was a few years ago! He should be saying I, my, me, not Count Bleck in every other sentence. It's annoying and it's a turn OFF. Plus what's with his attitude? We think of Dimentio, Mimi, O'Chunks, Nastasia, and Mr. L as our children. We think of them as kids so much that she forced the author to replace minions with their names! Why would he be mean to Nastasia? He literally embarrassed her in front of Mimi, O'Chunks, and Mr. L. If Dimentio was there he would of slit his throat. Then Happy Toad Town will gladly come and pick him up and drug him while singing nursery songs from Sarasaland or whatever._

Tippi looks at the sky. It's a mix of gray and black. It's going to be over in 45 minutes. She flies up to her husband and begins to rush him.

"You need more pep in your step! You should have put on some snowboarding or skiing gear. Who told you to come out into an already bad snowstorm in a suit with a cape? There should be boots with excellent grip on your feet! The blizzard is coming in 45 minutes." She nags.

Count Bleck growls. "Ugh! It's getting harder and harder to go through the snow! Can a Toad appear already?"

"Hey Toadathan! Did you find the crystal structure of the ice?"

The married couple look down from the small cliff they are on. Count Bleck quickly makes snow hills so they won't be seen. Tippi shakes her head in disappointment because her husband didn't notice the giant, half-weathered boulders to his left. They sit in silence, waiting to hear their confirmation.

"ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEI–––" Tippi… somehow… miraculously throws a snowball into his mouth.

"Shut your mouth." She commands.

Count Bleck makes a 'my lips are sealed' motion. He slightly leans forward to hear the conversation.

"Yes I did Toady! These crystal are huge! Their crystalline structure is beautiful and unique! Water is such a great thing! It can be at three places at once and it's densest form is its liquid form! I hope we can find some interesting routes to put on the USB!"

"The Princess and Mario are going to be so happy when we update the map! These new routes throughout the land are going to knock the socks out of them!"

Count Bleck looks at his wife. "Why would they come here to find secret routes? Most of them have to be filled with ice by now."

"Well there is a secret slide made of ice here. Don't be surprised Blumiere."

"Well sorry Mrs. Know-it-All, I bet you didn't know there was a giant snowman in this area this whole time."

"Wh–––shut up!" She hisses.

"Toadathan did you hear that?" Toady asks while looking around.

The other toad laughs nervously. "Sorry that must have been my gastrointestinal organs. I didn't eat breakfast."

"Why can't he say stomach?" Count Bleck jeers at the one named Toadathan.

"Oh! Don't worry! I can contact the others to rendezvous on the snowman's head."

"Why can't he just say 'meet us'?" the annoyed and confused Count asks.

"It's okay! We still have lots of la––– ice to cover!" Toadathan grabs Toady's hand. "Let's go!"

The duo being to run through the snow. Count Bleck jumps over his small snow hill onto the ground below. Tippi flutters down to his shoulder. The Count takes out his walkie-talkie and presses on a button.

"Hello hello? Green Gangly, Succulent Scottish, Jeopardous Jester, Madame Mischief, and Savourless Secretary? We have spotted some shrooms in the frozen land. I repeat, we have found some shrooms in the frozen land."

Someone responds. "Calamity Creeper you still do drugs?"

"Shut up Mr. L…. I mean––– Green Gangly!" Count Bleck says angrily.

Tippi speaks into the walkie-talkie. "No Green Gangly. We found two toads from the TSC*. They are trying to find secret routes throughout the land to update some map on their USB. We don't know if they have the USB on them."

Someone else replies this time. "Thanks for your vocal input Bipolar Butterfly."

Tippi groans. "Look Jeopardous Jester, how about you do all of us a favor and report how things are going on your end?"

* * *

 **Dimentio, Nastasia, and Mr. L–– West 1:02:56**

"Gladly. RIght after we go down this slide."

Count Bleck shouts. "What? Are you SERIOUS? You? YOU OUT OF ALL PEOPLE–––"

Dimentio throws the walkie-talkie at Mr. L. He catches in and stuffs into his overalls. He looks over at Nastasia, who's looking around for the slide's ending. Her face turns a lighter shade of brown. Dimentio and Mr. L look at each other. It's obvious that she's scared.

"Don't worry! The slide isn't that bad!" Mr. L says.

"It looks endless and one slight mistake could end us. Gliding down is out of the question because I'm pretty sure I wasn't a bat in a past life."

"Why are scared? Did you forget that I'll be right by your side?" Dimentio gently grabs Nastasia's hand.

Mr. L rolls his eyes. "I hope you know you're not the only man here. I'm watching her as well."

"Why do you want to look after her?"

"She's the only girl in our group so we need to look after her together. Plus there's no way she would be interested in you. Everyone in the castle thinks your—"

Dimentio glares at him. "Thinks I'm what?"

"It doesn't matter. We should decide who's going to go down the slide first." Nastasia interrupts.

Mr. L runs over to the edge. He lands on his bottom and starts sliding and yelling. This leaves Dimentio and Nastasia at the beginning. The two of them. Alone. In a frozen wasteland. No one's around.

For some reason the jester feels uncomfortable. His heart is beating irregularly fast. His face feels warm. But most importantly, his mind is going crazy with fantasies while a certain part is trying to make itself know. He can't help but wonder if he was experiencing withdrawal from the medicine at Happy Toad Town.

"Do you want to go down before me?" Nastasia's questions brings the jester back to reality.

He shakes his head. "No, but there is something we can do."

"Well what do you have in mind?"

"We can slide down together."

Dimentio honestly doesn't know why those words came out of his mouth. It's not a wise idea to let a woman sit between your legs and slide down a slippery ice slide that may cause trauma to your body. This isn't like a mother and her toddler sliding down a slide together at the park! It's a whole new level getting close to each other.

Nastasia is amazed. She stares at Dimentio, waiting to be pushed down or something but nothing happens. Did he have a change of heart? Is he in a semi sane mindset? Riding down the slide together doesn't sound that bad to her. She's just going down the strange but marvelous ice slide between her colleague's legs.

The hug. The whole 'My Love'. The jacket. And now this. The realization of the situation hits her like Mr. L without a mustache. Something or someone did something to Dimentio. He's a diabolical monster! Whenever he gets angry Happy Toad Town is on speed dial and they do whatever they can change him. He's not a lovey-dovey person. But in the other hand, maybe all of those hours of institutional life finally caught up to him and these are his TRUE feelings.

Either way, Nastasia would have to play along for now. There is no way she is going down that slide alone.

"Alright."

Dimentio sits down at the beginning at the slide. She hesitantly sits in between his legs, Nastasia didn't have the smallest nor the biggest thighs in the curve department. She didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. She turns around to see if he's okay. He's looking in the other direction while pouting. His cheeks are red.

"So are you going to push us down?" She asks.

He looks down at her. "...Sure."

The jester gently pushes himself forward.

Biggest mistake ever.

Two rag dolls falling down a hill have more grace. Nastasia's heels were scratching the ice. Small pieces the size of chocolate chips to as big as Count Bleck's monocle were hitting them. Next, the heels break off the shoes. They crash into Nastasia's glasses. The glass doesn't go into her eyes but they certainly make their way to Dimentio, who was trying to rub the melting ice from his eyes.

It doesn't end there.

The shoes miraculously come off her feet. Nastasia's fiery bright red high… No… angled shoes have to be attracted to Dimentio's purple and yellow eyes because they smack him right in the forehead causing him to be frozen in place for a few seconds.

Enough time to ROLL over Nastasia. Now the both of them are slipping, sliding, rolling, and tumbling everywhere. The only good thing that's going on is that they didn't fall off when the slide had a curve.

Mr. L watches as the secretary and jester come down the slide. He is laughing uncontrollably with cramping sides. In a matter of seconds the tumbling villains reach the end. Dimentio lands on the cold snow face first. Nastasia lands on her bottom… right on Dimentio's back. Mr. L's laughing start to sound maniacal. Nastasia gets off of the injured magician.

For some reason, Dimentio doesn't feel anything. Maybe it's the hypothermia setting in or the fact that his heart's racing too fast to feel the pain. He was happy yet sad. He's happy that he got to go down the slide with Nastasia and they arrived in one piece but he did roll over her as if she were his mattress. If she got angry at him, Dimentio would never be able to let it go. But here's another problem: he doesn't know why he wouldn't let it go.

Great. Now he's confused too. He wouldn't blame the saucy secretary for leaving him.

"Dimentio are you okay?" It's Nastasia.

The jester jumps onto his feet. "Never been better!" _After all, your voice is as beautiful as the moment someone asks you to go out to eat with them._

"The way you guys came down the slide was pretty funny! But Nastasia lost her heels." Mr. L sighs. "For an intelligent woman, it was pretty stupid idea to go on a mountain top with high heels."

Nastasia turns around to face Mr. L with angry eyes. She replies, "I've ran away from shootouts, stabbed people to death, broke into banks, fought heroes, and escaped buildings with high heels, if you haven't noticed. The same way you make your faulty robots to fight and improve them when they fail goes for me and my high heels."

Everyone is silent. Her response leaves Mr. L in silence. He can't argue with her logic. Every time someone sees Nastasia, she has her heels on and that includes her pajamas. Dimentio quickly snaps his fingers and fuzzy panda boots with a matching hat, coat, gloves, and scarf are on Nastasia. She doesn't say anything because the scarf is literally suffocating her because it's covering her nose and mouth.

"We must keep on moving, we have some annoying brats to subjugate." Dimentio says.

Mr. L runs up to him. He stifles a laugh. "Are you sure? You left some smeared blood on the slide! You have little cuts that resemble cat whiskers. These Toads have some be classified and important info on the mushroom Kingdom and places that Mario's been to. These people might know karatoad, tae kwon toad, mixed toad arts and more!"

"Mr. L has a point, you got hit by ice, heels, glass, and my shoes." Nastasia's words are muffled by the scarf. "You should be careful. Only Grambi knows how much blood you lost. Plus, we're in a frozen wasteland, you're going to get hypothermia."

"I'm fine." He says.

The secretary takes off the scarf. She puts it around Dimentio's neck. "Now you are. A scarf this thick and suffocating should suffice."

Mr. L watches as Dimentio's cheeks turn red. He gasps. Dimentio's actually falling for her. The whole fandom ever has been wooting for Mimi, not Nastasia! Mr. L thinks to himself. What changed his feelings for Nastasia? He makes a list of reasons in his head.

She took him to the Happy Toad Town Institution after seeing stockings going down Mimi's throat.

They cooked together.

They read in the library together.

They like shopping.

Both of them can put makeup on people to make the ugly look beautiful.

Both of them like dark things.

They love using people as puppets.

Both of them love colorful things.

The list keeps on going on.

But he acted nonchalantly this whole time until today—

He made the kindness potion today.

Oh. NO.

 _DID I MAKE A LOVE POTION._ The question made Mr. L drop to his knees.

"Why are you on the ground? The snow is going to penetrate your pants and wet your underwear."

Dimentio's question made Mr. L realize two things.

They are walking this whole time.

His legs are numb.

"Sorry my legs are numb. I probably should have put on some leg warmers." Mr. L laughs nervously.

Mr. L slowly gets up from the ground. His legs are shaking involuntarily. He forces a smile on his face. "Let's keep on going!"

Nastasia and Dimentio look at each other with frowns on their faces. It's obvious that they are concerned about him. He walks up to them, ignoring the feeling that his legs are breaking apart.

"Now how about we try a creative approach to catch those Toads?" Mr. L smirks deviously.

"What heinous idea do you have to offer?" Dimentio hisses.

"We'll use the art of invisibility!"

If it wasn't for the harsh winds blowing snow around, the trio would have been in complete silence. Invisibility in an environment like this is pretty risky. You could fall into a pile of snow revealing your body to the TSC*. Also, the TSC* must have been alerted that some villains may come to steal the USB. They probably have lasers, magic detectors, and more!

Nastasia breaks the silence. "...That actually doesn't sound too bad Mr. L. We just have to be careful and use a bit of fire power to keep you warm so you won't freeze over. Luckily we have someone that can help us with our situation. Plus we would be able to be visible to each other."

Mr. L and Nastasia glare at Dimentio with big puppy dog eyes. The jester takes a few steps back in horror. He's not used to real, authentic innocence. Plus, Nastasia is giving him the cutest puppy face he's ever seen! How could he say no to her?

"...Fine but remember we have to stick together like these snowflakes." He warns.

"Okay!" Nastasia and Mr. L give each other high fives.

Dimentio's left eye twitches. He feels a bit envious, which is more than enough to send him into a murderous rage and back to Happy Toad Town. He forces a smile onto his faces and claps his hands together.

"It's time for us to disappear!" He fakes the happiness in his voice.

* * *

The invisibility and heat trick worked, of course. The trio is sneaking around, trying to find a sign of Toad activity. So far, they're in a deadlock situation. It's as if their area hasn't been touched by a Toad at all!

"Where the heck are they?" Mr. L complains. "Unless they became Toadkabobs I better see one or so help me…"

"Mr. L you need to calm down. These Toads are expert scientists. They probably have an underground bunker somewhere." Nastasia says.

Dimentio shakes their head. "No. They're in a nearby cave."

"How do you know?" Mr. L asks skeptically.

"I can hear them."

"You said the same exact thing before I called Happy Toad Town."

"Well go inside and see for yourself." the jester points to a cave straight ahead of them.

"I'm not a pocket monster trainer but something about that cave is pretty fishy." Nastasia says.

Dimentio takes Nastasia's hand. "Then we'll walk into the cave together."

Mr. L grabs onto the jester's free hand. "Sounds great! Let's go!"

 _Don't say or do anything that will ruin your six-month breakdown free streak._ Dimentio thinks to himself.

They walk into the cave hand-in-hand. The stalagmites and stalactites made of ice made the cave look beautiful with a few white tables and folding chairs. It's as if they were in a cheesy spy action movie. The only difference is that they're sneaking into a hero's hideout. After all, usually the villains have the stupid frozen cave lairs.

"Alright Toadinson are we using the one '— = 1 mile' measurement or what?"

"NO. Toadiah you make the stupidest goomba seem like an Einstein apprentice! We have to use the '— = 1.5 miles'. We need to keep the same system for every other territory we map out. We're not going to put the map scale on the bottom. If villains get their hands on this they'll go crazy, trying to figure out what the scale is."

"But what about the Princess and Mario when they need to review the maps? Why are we even doing this? Aren't we supposed to examine those asteroids from outer space?" another Toad asks.

"Oh yeah, Toadidiah's new here." the Toad clears his throat. "How can I explain this… there's actually a villainous group that's a threat to the kingdom. They're led by this Count Bleck guy and they cause some major damage to surrounding dimensions and kingdoms. We're trying to prevent them from messing with the dimensions that are near the Mushroom Kingdom."

"But you didn't answer my first question Toadinson…" Toaddidiah mumbles.

"Oh yeah! We're going to go back to the castle with all the data that we've obtained. When we're at the castle, we'll insert the USB into the Princess's personal computer and put the scale on it. This will keep the Kingdom's people at peace."

"And don't forget we'll keep our heads!" Another toad yells.

"So true! I love the fact that we made fun of them in HEROES Mangazine. From bums to wannabe Bowser's. We used everyinsult that the publisher would allow us to. Even if those villains get word of it they won't be able to do anything! Mario will beat their behinds in 10.2 seconds."

Toadinison and the others begin to laugh loudly. A hyena pack could have thought these mushrooms were their long lost ancestors. Mr. L, Nastasia, and Dimentio are fuming right in front of them. Words couldn't describe how much they wanted to kill this people at this moment.

"Oh my Grambi! They are the Toads responsible for HEROES Mangazine? They called me a worthless bum!" Mr. L mumbles.

"All this time these Toads were harassing us? We've thought it was Mario and his pals from all his past adventures!" Nastasia hisses between her teeth.

Dimentio doesn't say anything. If he opens his mouth, he might kill someone with words, literally. He might stab someone with one of the stalagmites or stalactites even though they have rounded tops. The only thing he could do is walk up to their leader, who he presumes is Toadinson, and snatch the USB out of the computer near him.

Or convince Mr. L and Nastasia to 'play' with all of them in here.

"So how are we going to get that USB? We don't even know if they have some security system around them or something. They probably have cheesy layers intersecting a diamond format and we have to go across them to pull some switch or lever or we might have to push some button—"

Dimentio ignores Mr. L's constant spy cliche babbling. He walks up to Toadinson and twists his arm. The TSC* member starts to yell words from his vile vocabulary. The jester smiles half-heartedly. He doesn't feel bad for him, but he finds it annoying that he is saying curse words after every word or so. He has to be a smart Toad in order to be in the TSC*, but he's such a nonsensical being if he has to curse all the time!

Nastasia giggles. "I love how he's so nonchalant about it. We should join him in this little act of violence this one time."

"What are you guys waiting for?" the jester whispers, he throws the Toad, causing him to land on Toadiah's computer. The table breaks in half.

Mr. L takes a hammer out of his overalls and slams it onto Toadidiah's head. The Toad shrieks as Mr. L repeatedly hammers his head. The other Toads are freaking out in confusion. The fact that their leader was cursing his spots off and just flew across the room bamboozled them already. Then there's the cries for help from their comrade, They didn't understand why Toadidiah was yelling and spazzing out on the floor.

"Maybe Toadidiah's just playing around." A random Toad suggest with hope in it's voice.

Nastasia and Dimentio are looking around for the USB throughout the curious crowd. Mr. L puts the hammer back into his overalls and takes out a few packets of ketchup. He drops them to the floor and steps on them. The ketchup splatters all over the unconscious Toad.

All of the Toads go into apocalyptic mode.

Laptops and papers are everywhere. All the Toads are yelling about some ghosts, weeping at the thought of dying without getting married or having kids, while others are cursing out every villain the Mushroom Kingdom and their famous hero Mario has faced.

Mr. L takes out the walkie-talkie and presses the button. "Green Gangly and Bipolar Butterfly, we've caused a bit of a ruckus."

* * *

 **Mimi and O'Chunks— 2:13:69**

O'Chunks should have known this was a trap.

Instead of looking out for a TSC* member, he was watching Mimi build snowmen. The thing that shocked him is that he wasn't upset. Usually, he would have yelled at her and she would have been shouting as loud as she possibly could.

But he's here, watching her hum a random song. She wanted him to see her 'other creative side'.

"Alright Scotti! They're almost done! They're going to shock you!" She says.

 _I'm already shocked because they look horrible. But I still appreciate the effort._ He thinks to himself.

O'Chunks is happy to see Mimi happy. Sure, she can be spoiled sometimes but she does share with others. She loves to do favors for other people as well. Her personality can be annoying but it's contagious. She'll cheer someone up WAY before Mario can rescue the Princess from Bowser.

 _Maybe having Mimi as a girlfriend wouldn't be so bad after all._ He smiles at the thought.

"Alright I'm done!"

The shrill of high pitched voice snaps O'Chunks out of his thoughts. He sits up straight and look at Mimi. She is smiling and jumping. She puts her hands over her eyes. It's a signal, telling him to close his eyes.

"Do I have to?" He asks.

"If my signal wasn't obvious then yes, I want you to close your eyes!"

O'Chunks opens his mouth to reply but nothing came out. He didn't want to say anything that would make her cry and run into danger. Plus she's jumping like a pogo stick! How could he snap back at her? He sighs. The eagerness of the shapeshifter gets the better of the warrior. He covers his eyes and begins to walk forward.

Mimi claps her hands rapidly. "Nice job Scotti! Come closer, I'll tell you when to stop and uncover your eyes!"

"Okay Green Bean." The nickname she gave him was starting to grow on him. His mind begins to imagine life with Mimi as his wife. They would travel around the world together. They would be able to stay in his castle in Scotland and look around. The two of them can take turns cooking and cleaning different floors of the castle.

 _Play together._

 _Eat together._

 _Laugh together._

 _Sleep together._

 _Wait. SLEEP TO—_

"STOP!"

O'Chunks immediately stops in his tracks. He uncovers his eyes to see Mimi right in front of him. She is smiling like a maniac. She moves out of the way and yells, "TADA!'

The warrior was speechless. He didn't know how to respond. There are three snowmen a foot under him. They were different sizes with the smallest snowman in the middle. The tallest one was on the left of the smallest. The snowman on the right of the smallest was an average height. By the way this looks, he should have known he wasn't the only entertaining the thought of getting married and sleeping together.

"Do you like it? It's going to be us in the future! Think about great our family will be. We might have a boy or a girl or maybe twins! Isn't that great? They might have your ginger colored hair and my green eyes or vice versa! Wouldn't that be exciting?"

O'Chunks glares at her. He's speechless. This is one of the craziest things he's ever heard! Sure, he would love to be with her but he doesn't know if it'll be a lifetime commitment. She started being all clingy and love-dovey today. It's too soon for 'dating' after two hours and so and think about the future.

Mimi covers her hands with her mouth. Why are all of these words spilling out of her mouth? Sure, she cares about O'Chunks but not THIS much. But her heart is pounding like she's going to have a heart attack!

"Uh… forget what I said! I'm getting WAY ahead of myself! Us, getting married? Ha!" She laughs.

O'Chunks laughs nervously with her but for some reason, he feels a bit upset.

"Hello Madame Mischief? Succulent Scottish? Are you guys there?" It's Nastasia!

Mimi gasps and pulls the walkie-talkie from her coat pocket. She replies, "We're here handy and dandy! But we haven't seen any Toads!"

A voice full of anger responds. "WHAT THAT'S SO NOT FAIR I HAVE TO BANG SOME TOAD UNTIL—"

"Mr. L calm down. You're yelling in anger and you're not even thinking about the words that are coming out of your mouth. Since when does our Green Thunder bang Toads?" Another voice says in annoyance.

O'Chunks and Mimi are laughing hysterically. Nastasia is silently giggling to herself so Mr. L wouldn't hear her. She couldn't help but wonder if Count Bleck and Timpani are listening to this as well.

"Well anyway," Nastasia says after her giggle fit, "We've found the flash drive. Let's meet up at the summit."

"What already? But me and O'Chunks were bonding together!"

"Mimi!" This time this was Count Bleck. "The two of you shouldn't be bonding together until you're married! That worked for Timpani and I!"

No one replies. Mimi and O'Chunks look at each other. O'Chunks responds. "Uh, Count…. weh 'eren't…"

"It's a joke. A. JOKE. Man you guys would laugh at ANYTHING and EVERYTHING but when it comes to me? All I get is silence."

"It's probably because your jokes are as dry as the Sahara." Dimentio sighs. "Can we go now? I want to watch TV."

Count Bleck grumbles. "Fine!"


	4. Chapter 4

The team makes it back to the castle safely. Tippi and Count Bleck are preparing dinner. Mimi doing something in the kitchen, O'Chunks is working out, Mr. L is inventing, Nastasia analyzing the USB, and Dimentio is just sitting down in a violet purple footie in the living room watching TV.

While cringing in disgust.

He was watching Investigation Discovery, a popular network in all dimensions. Everyone loves to hear tales about killings and crimes but some people go the extra mile just to get revenge, earn more money, and to satisfy their lusty cravings.

The case he was watching took place in the Mushroom Kingdom. Some male Toad proposed to a female Toad and she beheaded him, chopped up his body and used every part to make cookies, which she gave out to everyone.

But that's not why he was cringing.

The creators thought it would be pleasant to add scenes of the female Toad torturing her other victims by pulling out their teeth and gouging out their eyes. The way she did was way too messy! She left the teeth on the floor and the blood everywhere! If she cleaned everything up and added some chemicals she wouldn't have been dead today!

"What an ameteur. I can kill and terrorize people better than she ever could." He says.

"Well that's a fact."

Nastasia was smiling at him. She was wearing a short cheetah nightgown with a matching robe. Screams of torture from the TV represent how the jester feels on the inside. He couldn't help but wonder, why does she want him to be tempted by her personality, mountains, and curves?

"Do you mind if I join you?" She asks. "I've been working all day long. Dinner should be ready in a few. Plus Mimi told me to come downstairs for some reason."

"Why would Mimi want you to come downstairs?" Dimentio asks.

"She said she wanted me to taste her icees. She also said that Mr. L and O'Chunks were going to taste them too."

Dimentio smiles, "What ever happened to healthy eating? These icees could be horribly sweet! One lick could give us diabetes and high blood sugar!"

Nastasia sits down next to him. "Forget it. How could one last without junk food? If I was going to give up junk food, I would have a giant meal full of meat the night before at a restaurant. I'm a sucker for sausage."

Inappropriate images fill up the jester's mind. "Oh really now," he says. "I'll make sure to reserve my homemade sausage just for you when it's my turn to cook."

"Aw! Thanks." She says. "Plus I like your footie pajamas but the way you sleep is horrible."

"I sleep perfectly fine." He replies.

"No you don't you look like a rabid rat when you sleep. Remember I woke you from your nap. With the way you twist and turn, you could be a spy or a ferret." She giggles.

Dimentio blushes. "Pandas are better."

"Is it because you're black and white and made by Asians?"

"No! I just love them because they're adorable. My first teddy bear was a Panda and I still have her."

"What's her name?"

"Panda."

"How creative."

"I was two!"

"But there was something you told me when you woke up."

"What?"

"You called me 'My Love'.

If Dimentio had a drink, he would have choked. His face turns red. "Well… I'm not lying…" His voice was so high that his ears started hurting. Plus his heart's beating too fast. He hopes he doesn't have a heart palpitation.

Nastasia smiles, "Well I—"

Mimi comes out of the kitchen with a tray with four icees with spoons in them. All of them have the same pink color. She is laughing and a few loud sounds of pots falling come from the kitchen. Count Bleck yells from the kitchen.

"DARN IT MIMI!" He yells from the top of his lungs.

"Don't worry Count I'll clean up the mess!" She giggles.

She stares at Dimentio and Nastasia in confusion. "Where's Mr. L and Scotti?"

"Here!"

O'Chunks and Mr. L are by the stairwell, breathing heavily. Nastasia rolls her eyes.

"Maybe we should go back to healthy eating and exercise. When we were running around the Mushroom kingdom we lost ten pounds after a week."

"But My Love at the time we were eating goat food. A diet which is 95% salad, 5% vegetables, and no meat for a month can have some devastating effects on the body." Dimentio says.

Mr. L nods in agreement. "He's right. The day we were aloud to eat meat again was the same day I felt alive again. I remember Dimentio eating all of those ribs and steaks. I only had about 20 burgers or so."

"Well at least you guys made it here! They're passion fruit flavored!" Mimi puts the tray of pink icees on the table. Everyone grabs a cup.

"Cheers for being the biggest villains in the Kingdoms!" Mr. L yells.

"Cheers!" All the minions yell.

Tippi is flying clumsily out the kitchen. She's watching her children eat icees with smiles on their faces. She sighs and begins to fly around. She's been working so hard in that kitchen with a man who doesn't even know how to wash vegetables and clean meat. She's beat and trying to go to her room.

Mr. L notices the drunkard-looking butterfly. He holds out his index finger, the butterfly immediately flies over to him and lands on his finger. He smiles sadly.

"Hubby can't cook for his life?" He asks.

"You… have no idea. He refused to wash…. the veggies and clean the…. meat. He wants all of us to have food poisoning." She says sluggishly.

"Well we've worked hard today. Have a taste of my icee. It's pretty good!" Mr. L offers.

Tippi smiles, "Thanks Mr. L"

O'Chunks glares at Mimi, "Why didn't yeh make sum fer da Count Bleck n Tippi?"

"She offered us some but we didn't want any." Tippi answers.

"I would never leave anyone out unless they say I can Scotti!" Mimi's eyes light up with dedication. O'Chunks sighs.

"But I must say I regret my decision!" Tippi shouts. "This is delicious!"

"Aw! Thanks!" Mimi smiles. "It must be because Dimentio isn't saying anything!"

Everyone looks at the jester. He's DEVOURING the poor icee. The whole elegant and mature behavior was thrown out the window. With all the slurping and sucking the spoon and cup, someone would of thought he was a vampire.

He looks down at his empty cup. There's a little bit of juice in it. The jester crushes the cup, puts it in his mouth, and swallows. He looks around the room to see everyone staring at him.

"It was worth it." He smiles.

Count Bleck walks out of the kitchen with an empty bottle. "Alright kiddies the food's almost done! While we're waiting, let's play a round or two of spin the bottle. You people need relationships anyway!"

"But what if one of us has to kiss Timpani?" Dimentio asks. "Isn't she your wife?"

Count Bleck and Timpani laugh nervously. The eyebrows of the minions rise in confusion.

"Well you see… I don't see a single kingdom in our and surrounding dimensions that allow me to marry Timpani. The courthouses, Vegas weddings, I've tried but people just stare at me and back away like I'm mental."

Tippi gasps and whispers to the Green Thunder. "Has he been using first person for a while without us noticing?"

"Well you are but it went down a few notches." Mimi says.

"Alright shut up and sit down on the floor!" the Count orders.

O'Chunks moves the black coffee table and everyone sits on the floor. Count Bleck puts the empty bottle in the middle of them. Dimentio couldn't help but be relieved when he sees Nastasia across from him. He has a better chance of landing on her, but it's kinda upsetting that he has to be next to Mr. L and Count Bleck and Nastasia is next to O'Chunks and Tippi. Another good thing is that Mimi is between Count Bleck and O'Chunks so that's one female out for the Count.

"Alright you sneaky little jester," Count Bleck hisses. "I'll know if you're using your little magical powers. If I catch you, I'll use my own powers to put on those power suppressors you hate so much and you'll have to wear them for a week."

"I'll leave Lady Luck to the decision." He sighs.

"Goodie! Mr. L hurry up and spin it!" Count Bleck commands.

Mr. L spins the bottle eagerly. It lands on Mimi and a loud high-pitched scream erupts from her mouth. "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! This is cheating on Scotti! He'll hate me and think I'm a two timer! He might think I have some shy guy on the side and hate—"

"Lissen Green Bean, it's okay." O'Chunks says softly. "It's just a game! Mr. L is more dedicated to his robots anyway."

Mr. L shuffles over to Mimi, "Great O'Chunks you make me sound like a nerd."

"Mr. L has a point." Dimentio agrees. "Nerds have an academic life but Mr. L has no life. Huge difference."

Mr. L ignores the jester's comment and gives Mimi a kiss. Mimi begins to cough. "I felt the hair go into my mouth! That thing has a mind of its own!" She cries.

"Well when you moisturize and keep your moustache healthy it'll do things you'll never believe." Mr. L smirks.

"Alright two more people can go! I don't want the chicken to burn." Count Bleck announces.

"I guess I'll go." Tippi volunteers.

"But how?" Mimi asks.

"I'll spin it for you Timpani." Mr. L spins the bottle. It lands on Count Bleck. He squeals uncontrollably.

"Alright honey you better pucker up that thorax cause I'm going in!" He picks her up with a quick swoop and gives her a gentle yet sensual kiss. The minions watched with awkwardness filling the air.

"Can you stop?" Nastasia begs. "We don't want this escalate."

Count Bleck finishes his kiss. He shakes his head in disappointment. "Of course you wouldn't want to see the beauty of our love for each other. Maybe you will one day but until then don't be envious."

Dimentio is contemplating on whether he should punch him in the back or stab him with a knife. Either way he's upset because the Count keeps on being a braggart about their love even though they aren't officially married. What if the butterfly falls in love with someone else? What would happen to Count Bleck? Would they have a sequel on the Wii U?

Count Bleck sits down a nudges the jester. "It's your turn now. Let's see if you'll get a smooch from the secretary since you've been getting friendly with her."

Dimentio takes a deep breath.

 _Alright Lady Luck I've been a good person today. Repay me with the kiss from that Angel._

The jester spins the bottle. Everyone is silent. It keeps on spinning and spinning. The bottle begins to slow down. The bottle is coming to a stop at Nastasia.

Thank you Lady Luck!

But then it passes her and stops at O'Chunks.

 _You know what screw you and all of your horseshoes and your clovers._

Count Bleck and Mr. L start laughing like hyenas. The jester and the warrior look at each other. Mimi is giggling with Nastasia and Tippi.

The greatest question in history right now is should he do it. Nastasia might find it pretty brave to do it in front of everyone. He's really not one to back down from a challenge. Plus he just had a passion fruit icee. It's not like his breath smells bad or anything.

He stands up and walks over to O'Chunks. "The day you talk about this is the day we both get embarrassed by these people."

"I won't tal—"

Dimentio does the deed before the warrior could finish. Mr. L snaps pictures on his phone as fast as he can. Count Bleck is behind him encouraging him to snap the picture with HD graphics. The girls watch in silent shock. They honestly thought he was going to slam the bottle into Count Bleck's head.

"There." Dimentio says wiping his mouth. "Happy?"

"Yep! The chicken is in the kitchen and it's waiting to be eaten by you weirdos." Count Bleck smiles creepily.

* * *

Mr. L— I mean, Luigi is back in the Mushroom Kingdom with his older brother Mario. He's on his laptop, trying to upload his pictures so he can torment the jester forever until the event gets old.

"Hey Luigi did you hear the news? Some villains attacked the TSC* and stole the USB. I think Count Bleck and his minions stole it! It had data collected from different kingdoms and the areas around it! The secret exits and entrances, secret items and power ups…"

"That's horrible!" Luigi tries to avoid using a sarcastic tone. "Will the Mushroom Kingdom and the others be safe?"

"We don't know. Ever since The Incident, we've been trying step up our game. Man Luigi, you're lucky to be in the BeanBean Kingdom at the time for vacation. Things were horrible here. We almost lost the Princess and those villains were right in our hands until we celebrated too soon."

"How horrible?"

"The Princess was paler than she usually is. They had to do emergency surgery and put her into a medically induced coma. She also needed a blood transfusion because on the the bullets hit her jugular vein and went through her skull. The worst part is that—"

Luigi clocked out. He's just saying all of this so his brother won't ask why he's not surprised and things like that. Luigi was there because he was one of Count Bleck's minions. He WAS there when it happened.

And he was almost beheaded by his own brother.

But that's a long story.

"—But that was a few months ago. We just have to keep on trying to catch them. Maybe the insults in HEROES Mangazine will make them mess up and fall into our hands for ever this time." Mario looks out a nearby window.

Luigi's laptop finishes all uploading the pictures. He closes it and walks over to his brother. "Don't worry Big Bro. Villains are sneaky. They can put on a kind and lovely façade and then stab you right in your back without a care in the world."

Luigi takes pride in telling his brother this. His brother in a famous hero, you would of thought that nothing can shock him. He's seen so much in his lifetime yet he couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that villains can be the sweetest, greatest people in his life.

 _For example: Me._ He thinks to himself.

"You have a point there Luigi. There was a friend of mine that betrayed me to be with her love."

"Who would that—oh yeah Tippi!"

"Yeah. She loved her husband so much that she switched sides just to be with him. Now she's on the Kingdom's Execution List along with them. It hurts my heart."

Mario's eyes begin to tear up. Luigi pats him on the back while rolling his eyes. Has he always been this emotional? He cries over losing a friend yet he's pretty happy after her kills goombas. koopas, and such?

 _He's the lesser of twin evils._

"I'm going to use the bathroom. I'll come back." He says with tears running down his face.

Luigi watches as his older brother runs into the bathroom. He's crying like a baby. Luigi couldn't help but face the facts.

He just made his brother cry.

AND HE DOESN'T CARE!

"Time for a goodnight's sleep." He says with a smile of satisfaction on his face.

The younger brother puts his laptop on his nightstand. He lays down on his bed, thinking about what happened today. His missing DIY book, drugging Dimentio's lemonade, losing the bag with the powdered potion, Mimi being desperate for O'Chunks, Dimentio trying to get closer with Nastasia, eating icees with friends and Timpani, taking pictures with Count Bleck of O'Chunimentio, eating a great chicken dinner, and coming home to spend time with his brother.

But one of the most important events after O'Chunimentio was eating icees with Timpani. She looked like a drunkard coming out of a bar. Even though she's a butterfly, she worked her throax off trying to make dinner with her… man… who didn't know what he was doing.

The thought of that hurt his heart. Timpani shouldn't be suffering because of the Count. She should have a fiancé who cares with all his heart. One that will help her turn back into her original form, which she longs for so badly that it hurts. She needs someone who would do anything for her.

 _Someone like me._

Luigi slaps himself out of his imagination. Him and Tippi? No. Never! It'll never work out. She's a butterfly. Plus she's Count Bleck's wife-to-be. She's taken! He has someone he is interested in and that's Princess Daisy! Why marry a Princess when you can have a butterfly instead? Wait! No!

Luigi slaps himself again. Why is he thinking about Timpani? It doesn't make any sense! Having an icee with her doesn't mean he should be thinking about having a relationship with her! Like what is he going to tell his kids when he gets older? You're mother was once a butterfly…

He slaps himself for the third time. He begins to think while his cheeks are throbbing. Why is he so interested in Timpani? The only time he had contact with her was when they were sharing an icee. His mind instantly focuses on the icee. It was pink and tasted like passion fruit. It was the same color of his powdered potion.

Wait.

When Mimi left his room, the potion in the snack bag was gone. After the potion was gone, she started to go all lovey-dovey on O'Chunks. When they came back from their mission, Mimi made icees that everyone had except Count Bleck.

For the icees to be that pink, she must have used the whole bag.

His big questions was answered. _I DID MAKE A LOVE POTION._

Since Timpani is the first person he saw after his first bite, it's safe to say that's why he's having these feelings. They aren't real. They're just artificial. But since he had most of the icee, the effects will hit him harder than the butterfly. He needs to find a way to make antidote before he develops a horrifying disturbing case of Zoophilia.

He sighs, _Maybe I shouldn't have added that Pure Heart._

Luigi goes under his blanket. He can't help but wonder if everyone in the castle is okay.

* * *

A game of Spin the Bottle can leave some awkward tension in the air. It's pretty funny how the tension really accelerates when the person is in the same room as you. Both of you are doing the samething, cleaning the bathroom near the meeting hall for when villains come over to plot. Every toilet has been bleached twice along with the light sienna floor. The two minions are wiping down the mirror. It feels like the process is taking forever instead of thirty minutes.

"'Ey Di—"

"Don't ask bad questions now. You might cross the psychosis line." He warns.

"Well if I 'ave to then I 'ill. Why did yeh smooch me?"

Dimentio throws the white towel he was using to wipe the windows into the warrior. "Because I have to do things that I would… hate to impress Nastasia. I can't have her think I'm some wimp!"

"I see yer point." O'Chunks replies.

The room is silent.

"But it was worth it."

The jester looks at the warrior with eyes of confusion. "Why would you say that?"

"It was good. Nastasia wouldn't mind a smooch like that!"

Dimentio smirks. "You weren't so bad yourself. I enjoyed it as well. Mimi is going to be speechless for days if you keep that up."

The two of them laugh and give each other high fives.

"Wait." O'Chunks says abruptly. "Does that—"

Dimentio looks at him with big eyes. "Make us—"

"Nope." They answer in unison.

"So what do yeh like 'bout Nastasia?" O'Chunks asks while cleaning the toilets.

The jester's multicolored eyes turn bright. A big child like smile appears on his face. "She's an exciting person. Sure, she's serious and a workaholic but not everyone can say that their Love can manage bank accounts with over $500,000. I remember when the Mushroom Kingdom was chasing after us and she hacked into the Kingdom's defense systems and blew up their bases. She also stole one of the Toad's motorbikes and we drove away on it. She can do some killer tricks wearing those high heels!"

"Wow! I'm shocked that you didn't start off with her looks." O'Chunks sounds impressed. Dimentio chuckles.

"Well she looks like a monster when she has the opportunity to. Her flamingo pink bun is perfect. You know she means business when she takes off the scrunchie and the hairpins fall off. Her glasses are always clean and perfect until someone or something breaks them. It's pretty amazing that the glass doesn't get into her eyes when they do break."

"You have a point there." the warrior concurs. "When they break they're always on her face."

"Plus she's a great cook. Her clothes are never wrinkled. She always looks professional and ready to shut down whatever disaster comes. Plus she was one of the first people to visit me when those vile heroes got me locked up in Happy Toad Town."

"Those were some dark times. I remember I had to sneak in just to give you the directions to Peach's hospital."

"Oh I remember that clearly." Dimentio grins. "That's when we almost killed the Princess a second time."

"I'm telling you if we do that again we'll actually win."

"So what do you like about Mimi?"

O'Chunks smiles at his question. "She's so bubbly all the time it's contagious. She doesn't need coffee to get herself through the day. She runs on her natural energy. She's caring despite the fact she's a fashion freak. She loves to do things for her friends and she's a big believer in revenge. She can't cook but she can make desserts!"

"I'm not going to lie. I would go obese for those brownies anyday."

O'Chunks laughs. "She can't sing but she tries anyway. She's not one to give up easily unless her goal isn't worth it. She's into fashion because she wants to inspire others on her .mk account page. Plus she can sew, crochet, weave, and knit!"

"Of course she does. I taught her how to." the jester sits on the bathroom Counter.

"Well you taught her well because she was able to sew up my cuts from our little adventure. Also, Mimi doesn't mind my beard. She says that it's soft and silky. Plus she makes everything interesting. It could be the snoozefest of the century and she'll still make it memorable! She just a little bundle of joy with two pigtails."

They smile at each other. "It's getting late we better get to our rooms before Count Bleck tries to fabricate a tale about us for breakfast tomorrow."

"What could he po—" With the strange look the jester was giving him, O'Chunks knew that question didn't have a pleasant answer.

They leave the bathroom and walk down to their rooms, with Dimentio trying to explain the answer in a kid-friendly way.

* * *

Nastasia can't fall asleep. She doesn't have insomnia nor did she drink coffee. Closing her eyes would result in an unpausable dream of her and the jester kissing. Is it because of what happened at Spin the Bottle? Sure, she was shocked and wished that was her but the bottle didn't exactly come from a saint. It came from a Count who wanted to be entertained by whatever was available.

That kiss from Dimentio didn't look like a joke in her eyes. After all, Count Bleck and Mr. L were taking pictures like there was no tomorrow. In her mind the Count did that on purpose, the bottle almost stopped at her but then it went to O'Chunks. Dimentio couldn't have used magic on the bottle! There's no way after their conversation that he would do that.

 _Unless Mr. L was right. Is he really…_

"NO. It's just a coincidence. If he used magic he wouldn't have taken a deep breath." She tells herself.

Even though she said those words part of her wouldn't believe it. She is skeptical about certain things but why does she need to be skeptical of Dimentio's preferences? He would choose her over O'Chunks right?

...Right?

The secretary hears a few whispers from down the hallway. She opens her door, leaving it slightly ajar. She can make out the two people in the hallway. Her heart sinks a bit.

It's O'Chunks and Dimentio.

"Yer not being blunt."

"Listen here Chunky!" Dimentio whispers furiously. "I'm as blunt as the blunts people smoke. There is no other way to put it. I got straight to the point when we were all the way at the back end of the hallway."

"But would it work?"

"The same way you put a snake down in a sewer."

"How about when we're done? What happens then?"

He pulls the warrior in closely. Their faces are almost touching. "Then we reflect on our moment of pleasure. Doesn't that sound lovely to you?"

"Before we do it we gotta plan it out." O'Chunks advices.

Dimentio's eyes brighten. "There wasn't a single apostrophe in that sentence… You must be serious. You're ready take this relationship to the next level."

"Let's do this in my room. Your beady eye bears are going to distract me."

The jester rolls his eyes. "Using the power of a kilt to show dominance all ready? I like it. We can go into your room but you'll get used to seeing them. Most of my stuffed animals are pandas and they're pretty cute in my opinion."

The two of them go into O'Chunks's room. The door shuts, leaving Nastasia's heart in pieces. She closes her door and walks back to her bed. Part of her is trying to make sense of their conversation. Maybe they were talking about their friendship or planning something to surprise her and Mimi?

The other part of her is throwing quotes and events at her that wouldn't make this moment much of a surprise. It's mostly Mr. L and Count Bleck dropping bombs here and there but they were never direct about it because Dimentio would always stop them.

But what if he thought about it and accepted it?

The two of them have been through a lot. Planning, cooking, cleaning, escaping Mushroom Kingdom's suckish defense unit, mental hospital visits, death row breakouts, and more! O'Chunks can't just come and sweep him off his feet. How dare he? She's supposed to be stealing his heart!

She jumps up and stand on her bed. With a fist raised she proclaims into the atmosphere, "I WILL get Dimentio to love me! I'll steal his heart by ripping it out with my charm!"

She jumps out of her bed and runs to her closet. Maybe if she dresses up differently tomorrow she'll get the attention she needs.


	5. Chapter 5

It's the morning. A bright white light makes its way through O'Chunks's window. The light hits the jester's eyes, causing him to wake up. He looks to his right to see a panda bear in his arms. It's smiling at him with dark soulless eyes. He smiles at the bear.

"Good morning Pandy." He says with a smile.

He looks to his left to see O'Chunks sleeping right next to him. The warrior is sleeping soundly. "And good morning to—"

 _Why am I on his bed sleeping next to him?_

Dimentio thinks to himself for a few minutes. He's playing with Pandy's paws. He doesn't remember when they went to bed last night. All he can say is that they went to sleep before 2 AM. He gets off the bed and tries to see if anything is missing. His footie is still on, his hair's a mess, and he has a panda. It's a typical morning, except the fact that he has one panda. He should at least have seven.

Dimentio looks at Pandy. "But I don't remember getting you from my room last night. I didn't even go into my room last night. How did you get here?"

"I brought 'er in fer you."

The jester jumps in fear. He falls hard onto his bottom. Pandy lands in his lap on all four paws with her signature smile. O'Chunks laughs, "Are you okay? That looked like it hurt!"

"It doesn't only hurt but it burns! Is it satisfying for you hurt people this early in the morning?"

"Yes it is!" O'Chunks gets off the bed and helps the jester off the floor. DImentio looks at him with a red face full of embarrassment.

"How did you know that I sleep with my pandas?" He asks quietly.

"Well with the way you talk about them, I assumed." O'Chunks looks at Pandy. "At this rate you have a community of them. I saw 30+ of the same animal as soon as I walked in. I chose her because she's adorable and happy looking. I wasn't going to bring ten of them and put them on my bed."

Dimentio laughs, "You're the first person ever to say that Pandy is a girl. You're smarter than I thought. I'm going back to my room to freshen up, breakfast is going to start soon."

He lets go of O'Chunks's hand and leaves the room.

* * *

Mr. L arrives at Castle Bleck out of breath. He's panting as if he's about to die on the spot. Count Bleck is laughing at him while Tippi watches in horror. She couldn't understand, why he was laughing at Luigi's pain and suffering?

"Luigi are you okay?" Tippi asks.

Count Bleck stops laughing and glares at Tippi. "Why are you calling him by his real name?" He asks.

"I'll tell you why Count Bleck." Tippi answers. "He is a nice gentleman who is generous and intelligent. The fact that he loves to invent so many wacky things! His natural creativity makes him interesting and different as well."

"Y…You didn't call me by my first name!" Count Bleck points out.

"But you love to call yourself Count Bleck. Why shouldn't I starting calling you by the name you love so dearly?" She snaps.

"What's with the arguing?"

Mr. L, Count Bleck, and Tippi turn around to see Mimi wearing an orange sundress. Her hair was in a long green ponytail. She looks annoyed. Count Bleck clears his throat to answer his minion's question.

"Well you see Mimi, Timpani is getting trying to get closer to our hairy, oily Mr. L." He explains.

"Count Bleck are you feeling jealous because Timpani is interested in someone else?" the shapeshifter asks while looking at Mr. L and Tippi. "I wouldn't blame them. First of all, you guys aren't married and I don't see any engagement rings or bands or whatever you guys have. So technically you guys are able to see other people."

Mr. L and Tippi look at each other. Their faces turn red and they smile nervously. Count Bleck yells at an uncaring Mimi. He's yelling about how her mouth is too big and she needs to shut it. Mimi doesn't respond because she knows that the Count is afraid of losing the butterfly he almost killed everyone for.

"Look Count Bleck I don't care what you think," Mimi talks after the Count finishes. "I'm just telling the truth. If you're afraid that she's going to leave you that tells everyone that you're not really being the man she expects you to be."

"Look here Mimi I'm more manly than all the guys here combined!" Count Bleck argues.

Mr. L nods his head. "Yeah! He's right! I'm not fit for Timpani!"

"Oh really?" Mimi snorts.

Just then, Dimentio and O'Chunks come downstairs. The jester looks ANGRY while the Scotsmen had an apologetic expression on his face. The two of them rush down into the kitchen.

"DARN IT O'CHUNKS YOU DESTROYED MY BUTT WITH YOUR SURPRISE THIS MORNING!" He hisses.

"SEE?!" Mr. L and Count Bleck says in unison

Mimi rolls her eyes. "Whatever! See you guys later, I have a man to impress."

As soon as she leaves Nastasia walks up to Count Bleck. "Some villains want to know if they're able to come over to have a meeting with you." She says.

Count Bleck couldn't help but look at her eyes and her body. She's not wearing any glasses so her pink eyes are a bit seductive. Her shirt is a low cut fuchsia long-sleeve shirt. It makes you stop and think for a minute, are mountains supposed to be that perky?

"What's with the change of wardrobe? Are you trying to hit on one of those lame villains?" Count Bleck asks, looking at the mountains.

Nastasia laughs, "Nope! I have a jester to charm so hurry up and get on the phone with those villains. I have 512 sick days stored up and I'm using one for today. Have a great day Count Bleck. Oh and by the way, I heard a huge bang when I was in my room. I think it might have damaged the castle a bit so check on it."

"OH GRAMBI NO!" The Count yells as Nastasia leaves.

Nastasia walks into the kitchen. She covers her mouth with her hand to stifle a laugh.

"Alright. I'm gonna put you in the sink. It's full of ice from the freezer." O'Chunks says.

"I have two legs, two arms, two hands, and powers. Why would I need you to pick me up like an infant."

"Well you complain like one." O'Chunks picks up the jester and puts him in the sink.

Nastasia can't hold it in anymore. She begins to laugh. O'Chunks and Dimentio look at her in horror.

"Nastasia why are you here?" O'Chunks asks.

"I came to see My Magical Lover of course." She winks at Dimentio.

"Well you look great My Love!" Dimentio exclaims. His eyes lower to the mountains. "Eye-popping 3D effects in that shirt are pretty impressive!"

Dimentio winks at O'Chunks. O'Chunks gives him a thumbs up and leaves the kitchen. Nastasia hides the fact that she's glad that he left the room. She walks up to the sink. "May I ask what happened?"

"Well O'Chunks and I were doing something and I ended up sleeping with him in his bed. When I woke up he scared me and I landed right on my bottom. I feel like I'm sitting on two bubbles." He pouts, making Nastasia grin.

"Well I took the day off just to spend time you." She wants to keep the conversation going so she can ease into what happened last night.

"Really?!" He asks with bright eyes. "I can take you to the Villain Underground Cafe. They have great food and drinks! O'Chunks told me about it last night!"

An opportunity has arrived! "You guys were hanging out last night?"

"Yep! We talked about certain things. We did… certain things." He answers.

Her body tenses up. "What do you mean by 'We did certain things'?"

"You'll find out soon." He says with a smile.

* * *

Mimi is looking around the castle for her Scotti. She's looked in the bars, meeting rooms, his room, libraries, torture chambers, and he wasn't there! She wanted to spend time with him today. She isn't going to ask the Count for day off. He would say no and then spend the whole day with Tippi right in her face. Hypocrisy isn't something she's fond of.

"Hey Mimi are you looking for me?" It's Scotti!

Mimi turns around to see him waving at her with a rose in his hand. She runs up to him with a smile on her face. "Hey there Scotti! I've been looking everywhere for you! Where have you been?"

"I've been looking for you!" He says with a smile.

Mimi gasps, "You're sentence structure has changed! There's only one apostrophe and it's because you used a contraction!"

"Things change when you're in a relationship." He pulls her into a hug. "Let's go to the park in the rural area of the Mushroom Kingdom. Those people never heard about us because they don't have electricity."

She gives him a tight squeeze. "Okay!"

* * *

Tippi and Mr. L are in the library.

Alone.

The villains that wanted conversate with Count Bleck have arrived and are now talking in the meeting room. Count Bleck told the two of them to do something productive so they decided to go to the library to read some books.

But what's with all of this tension?

Tippi is on a random dessert page in a cookbook. She's trying to stare at Mr. L without being scary. Mr. L's nose is buried into a book about mechanics and advanced engineering. It's too bad that the book doesn't include a way to rewire his heart to have the balls to go up to Tippi and ask her to go out with him.

 _I wonder if he knows that I'm doing this. I don't want him to think I'm a freak._ Tippi thinks.

Mr. L's face is red. I _f I go up to her and ask her to go for a walk… will she say yes? It's not like it's wrong. Going on a walk with a butterfly is pretty productive. She needs oxygen to breathe anyway._

The Green Thunder swallows and shuts the book. He puts it on the couch and looks straight at Tippi. She is frozen in embarrassment because of her constant staring. Mr. L gets off the couch and walks up to her. "Let's go on a walk. It's not good for a beautiful creature to be locked in a castle all day long. You need fresh air and an open window isn't going to help one bit."

Tippi squirms. "Uh… I have… a question…"

"Yes Timpani?" He asks with a warm smile.

Tippi's eyes get wide and her antennas get straightened. "Luigi… my question… is— she takes a deep breath— what if Count Bleck tries to hurt you because you took me out? I don't want you to get hurt! Plus you have… Daisy."

He gives her his index finger. "Screw Daisy and her flowers! Let's go on a romantic adventure!"

Tippi thinks about it. She smiles at the Green Thunder. "Sure!" she agrees.

The duo leaves the castle. Thanks to Tippi, they teleported to Gloam Valley with its random vines and jumping cheep trees are still, the sunset colors in the sky are still present even though it's daytime, and some Koopas are playing Blackjack. The atmosphere of the area is doing a great job of boosting their spirits!

And the tension.

But at least they had smiles on their faces. They laugh happily to the jokes and stories they tell each other. Tippi is on Mr. L's shoulder listening eagerly. Mr. L's mask is off and in his pocket. His silver contacts are in his pocket. The blue eyes he was born with shined brightly in the sun. Tippi can't help but look in awe.

"Your eyes are beautiful." She speaks without thinking.

He blushes, "Really? Thanks!"

"Why do you put on those contacts? Don't they get annoying?"

"Yeah but if I don't where these people might find out that I'm Luigi. I can't risk that happening, even though my brother's pretty oblivious, after that whole Incident I don't think I'll feel comfortable without the contacts."

Tippi nods her head in understanding, "Can't argue with that. That's a great reason."

"Thanks for understanding. You're an easy person to talk to." He replies with a smile.

"But… I'm not…"

"It doesn't matter. I don't care if you're human or a butterfly. I still love you."

Tippi doesn't breathe for a few seconds. Did he just confess how he feels? He doesn't care that she's a butterfly? Does he really love her? She feels the same way he feels but she knows that he has a relationship with Daisy, the Princess of Sarasaland.

"But you're with Daisy—"

He cuts her off. "I was interested in her, not with her. Plus that was in the past, now this is our future." Mr. L kisses her on the… antennae and thorax.

A smile breaks out on Tippi's face. Her face is red in embarrassment but it shows her true feelings. She gives Mr. L a kiss on the cheek as a gift of gratitude. "You're different from Count Bleck. You're caring, kind, and truthful. Those three things alone show me how much you love me. I'm happy to say that I feel the same Luigi."

"But there's a problem."

Luigi's response makes Timpani shake in fear. What kind of problem can change the mood that fast?

"Count Bleck isn't going to accept this. I'm not ashamed of our love for each other Timpani and I want him to know about it." He reveals.

Timpani sighs, "You're right. He's going to go bezerk… I'm sure we'll think of something to take care of him."

* * *

The meeting room is full of laughter and the clinking of glass. Count Bleck is in the room with three other villains: Cackletta, Francis, and Bowser. They've opened a bottle of French red wine that they stole from the local item shop. The four of them are enjoying each others company even though they seemed like horrifying opposites.

"This red wine is SO HIGH TECHINICAAAAAAAAAAAL!" Francis yells.

Count Bleck laughs, "Y'see here you big nerdy lizard? THIS is the real deal not the $100 or more bottles that my wife loves to buy."

"Speaking of your wife," Cackletta pours more wine into her cup. "have you felt a shift in your castle's atmosphere?"

The Count thinks about in for a second. "Yeah, my jester's finally coming out that he loves the Scotsman."

"WHAT?" Bowser chokes a little bit on his wine. "I… *cough* thought the fanfictions with him and your Mr. L dweeb were true."

"Oh Grambi no." Count Bleck takes a swing of his wine. "They don't have stomach flus, flus, or any random illness you can think of every single day. In fact, Dimentio actually tried to slit Mr. L's throat before. It just shows that they hate each other, if you told one of them to take care of each other, Dimentio will use that as a time to kill."

"Is that why Mr. L wears the green bandana? Your jester slit his throat pretty badly?"

"No but why do you think I leave the collar up on my cape? The one time I try to be a nice guy my throat gets slit and blood's gushing out and I can't say anything." Count Bleck grimaces at the memory.

Francis giggles, "So back to your jester… where's the proof?"

"Well I forced everyone to play Spin the Bottle and I kid you not when he spun the bottle it literally looked like that it was going to land on Nastasia but Lady Luck wanted to screw the both of them so they can screw each other because it landed right on O'Chunks! I have some pictures the HD cameras around the castle caught it as well." Count Bleck watches as his company smirks at one another.

"Are ya gonna put the pics and the video on .mk?" Bowser's eyes are full of curiosity.

"Yep. Mr. L has most of the pics though." Count Bleck reminisces on last night. "For a silly game, he acted like it was life or death. It looked so passionate that even Timpani, Nastasia, and Mimi were speechless."

"As interesting as the topic is," Cackletta finishes her cup of wine. "that's not what I meant. The twisted darkness and psychological problems are gone. The atmosphere is full of love and surprisingly correction. This castle feels like a rehabilitation center!"

Now it's Count Bleck's turn to choke on his wine. "Whoa whoa whoa. This castle is the home of the villains that almost destroyed the Mushroom Kingdom. We all get corrected in the way we must blend into our environments and kill those that we deem useless and irrational. A lovey-dovey atmosphere with correction on how to be good needs to stay in the high school dramas."

"Well the air in this castle is filled with 25% of love." Francis calculates. "It's coming from all of your minions. As soon as they come back the love factor will be over 255% which isn't a good number."

"Why?" the Count asks.

"Your minions could start doing… things to each other."

"Too late for that. You should've been here earlier, Dimentio was yelling that O'Chunks destroyed his butt." He says.

"Leave it to me nerd." Cackletta sighs. "A love potion has made its way into your castle. That's the only explanation for the shift."

"A love potion? No one made a love potion!" Count Bleck spits.

"Count Bleck you never know sometimes minions like to experiment and odd things happen without warning." Bowser points out. "I should know."

"Well the only inventor I have is Mr. L. I highly doubt that he would be interested in a LOVE potion." the Count is skeptical about Mr. L wanting to make a potion for some hugs and kisses.

"I can find the location where it was made with some…. HIGH TECH!" Francis shouts.

"What could you possibly have on you that can help?" Count Bleck asks dryly.

"A proTRACKTOR. It's great for tracking!" He says as he takes out a protractor.

"Why are companies making dumb things with such dumb names?" Bowser growls.

Francis presses a button and the object begins to beep. "Let's get out of here and search!"

"I'm taking the wine bottle." Cackletta says.

The four of them leaving the meeting room. They were silent unless one of them wanted Cackletta to fill up their wine glasses. The beeping of the tracker increases as they go through long hallways. After 20 minutes of walking, the tracker goes bonkers. Count Bleck couldn't believe it where the potion might have been made.

"IN MY PRIVATE AREA?" He yells in disbelief.

"Nope. I highly doubt that if I drop this in your pants it'll go crazy." Francis replies.

Bowser smacks him. "NOT LITERALLY. Man for a nerd you can be really stupid!"

Count Bleck opens the door to his private study. A huge wave of kindness, goodness, and peacefulness, smacks him in the face. A wave of nausea also smacks him right in the stomach. He feels like the wine is about to march right up his throat. The three other villains are experiencing the same symptoms.

"AHHHHH!" Francis cries. "The love is too much! It's TOO REAL! I need to calculate how much ecchi animes I need to watch when I get back home!"

Bowser coughs, "We must… go in and… see what's up…"

Cackletta takes a waterfall from the wine bottle. "My scenes are getting numb from this stuff so drink up!"

After a few cups later the team goes inside the study. They find a dirty cauldron with pink stains. The eight pedestals for the Pure Hearts are fine and dandy but there's one problem.

"THE EIGHTH PURE HEART IS MISSING? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! WHAT THE OVERTHERE HAPPENED?" Count Bleck is freaking out like crazy.

"Calm down Count." Cackletta says calmly. "Were you in here yesterday?"

"NO." He answers angrily.

"Then whoever made it was in here yesterday. You probably left your door open."

"No I don't think so!" He says. "Even if I did, NO ONE LIKES THE BEGINNING OF 8-4! Who in the world had the PATIENCE to look throughout THESE HALLS JUST TO BE IN MY STUDY?"

Bowser grunts, "First of all stop YELLING LIKE THIS. Second of all, think logically, one of your minions were able to come in here and make a potion. Whoever did must have the keys to the room."

"Well it can't be Nastasia. She doesn't like being in people's business but I sure love to rub her no life status in her face." Count Bleck says.

"Well what about Mimi?" Francis suggest.

"HA. Funny. Does SHE REALLY have the mental capacity to do something LIKE THIS?"

Cackletta shrugs her shoulders. "Well it's either O'Chunks or Dimentio."

Count Bleck shakes his head in disagreement. "After that fated Spin the Bottle game I highly doubt it. That jester doesn't care if someone loves him or not. The same with O'Chunks… well kinda. The dude can be a softy."

"Then that only leaves Mr. L." Francis says.

"Maybe he tried to make a self-esteem booster." the Count guesses.

"Hey guys guess what I found in this giant soup pot!" Bowser yells.

"Uh… technically it would be a pan because pans are wider than pots." Francis points out.

"Whatever just get your butts over here to see this!"

The other three gather around the cauldon. At the bottom of it was a little heart. Count Bleck picks it up gingerly. The three guests watch as Count Bleck's face turns into a horrific stare full of confusion.

"WHY DOES THIS THING SAY 'LOVE U'?" His cry sounds like a mix between someone with a mental breakdown and kid whose ice cream just fell into the pavement.

"Wow. I guess that love potion sucked the love out of the Pure Heart." Cackletta says in shock.

"This is an interesting case. Maybe it wasn't supposed to be a love potion in the first place." Francis tells them. "The potion took all of the positive energy of the Pure Heart which turned it into the love potion."

Count Bleck thinks about this. "You might be right. The Pure Hearts are full of love, life, and garbage like it. Plus that was the eighth one. That came from Grambi's jerkish Nimbi daughter Luvbi. I think that Mr. L idiot did do this!"

Bowser sighs, "Minions can be pains if you don't give them some ground rules. They're like children."

The Koopa King walks up to Count Bleck's desk. "Maybe they left something on your desk since a bunch of things are a bunch of stuff missing."

"Good observation Bowser." Francis points at an empty jar. "Where's the dragon head that I gave you from my trip to X-Naut Con?"

"I'm not the kind of person to treat an object like garbage when someone gives me something!" Count Bleck shouts.

"I don't mean to be the bearer of atrocities but here's a question you should be asking yourself Count Bleck," Cackletta pauses to put together the right words. "how are you going to fix this? The Pure Heart is nothing more than a semblance of a candy heart! You need to find a way to get all of that positive energy back into the Pure Heart."

"You're kidding… right?" Count bleck asks with hope.

"Girls don't lie about things when it comes to love." Cackletta replies sadly.

"Hey guys look what I found!"

Count Bleck, Cackletta, and Francis face Bowser. In his reptilian hands is a DIY book with a bookmark in it. The bookmark is black and green with a 'L' on it. Count Bleck begins to laugh in anger. He feels like punching someone's ribcage into pulp.

"Open up to the page with the bookmark." Count Bleck says in a deep malicious tone.

Bowser does as he says. He shows the three villains a page with a potion on it.

A kindness potion.

"Why would this FOOL need a KINDNESS POTION? Newsflash! WE'RE ALL EVIL. He should be happy that we celebrate holidays and birthdays! Not everyone in the world is going to like you! Couldn't he use it on his brother?! ISN'T HE THE REASON WHY HE TURNED EVIL IN THE FIRST PLACE?!" Count Bleck is full of rage and disbelief.

"He must've added the Pure Heart thinking that it'll make the kindness more potent. The person would only be able to do good by that person but the Pure Heart increased the level so much that that kindness became love." Francis concludes.

"This explains everything. Dimentio actually doing kind things for Nastasia, Nastasia dressing up seductively, Mimi's attitude and confess on undying love toward O'Chunks, O'Chunks's signature broken english improving, Tippi calling Mr. L by his first name, and Mr. L being alone with her because I'm at a meeting..."

Count Bleck feels the world crashing down on him. "Oh. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THEY PROBABLY LEFT TO DO THINGS TO EACH OTHER BY NOW!"

Cackletta gives Count Bleck the wine bottle. He chugs the rest of it down. He couldn't help but tear up a bit. His love might actually get together with that mustached abomination! The worst part is that Timpani and him aren't married so she isn't bound to anything!

"You guys gotta help me! If there's anyway I can fix this just tell me and I'll do what I have to do!" the Count begs.

Francis, Bowser, and Cackletta look at each other. "There is a solution to this." Francis says.

* * *

"I hope that you know you're a magical studmuffin."

"Ah ha ha. I hope you know you're an arousing secretary."

The two lovebirds are enjoying each others company. Even though it's a cafe for villains, it's calm. The violent bar fights, gambling, and horrific bloodshed that you'd expect doesn't happen in the Villain Underground. It's just a place for villains to be calm and… NORMAL

In the day hours.

"I didn't expect a villain cafe to be this quiet. Everyone is speaking as if this was a place open to anybody." Nastasia says.

Dimentio smiles, "I'm shocked too. Who knew O'Chunks had a place like this up his sleeve?"

Nastasia tries to hide her anxiety. Just hearing the Scotsman's name coming out of her lover's mouth makes her crazy. She changes the subject so she can keep her cool. "So why did you bring me here? Is this a date?"

"A… date?" the jester's face turns bright red.

A koopa comes over with plates of food. "Here's your food you newlyweds! Buffalo wings, cheeseburgers sliders, curly fries, and my personal favorite, baby back ribs!"

"We're not married." Dimentio corrects.

The koopa apologizes as he puts down the plates a food. "Sorry! My boss thought you guys were together so he told me to bring you this bottle of champagne with these pristine glass drinking cups on the house—"

"But she's my fiancé. We're not married yet." He winks at Nastasia. Her face turns red.

The Koopa bows with a smile and leaves. With a snap of his hands Dimentio opens the bottle. Nastasia pours the drink into the two cups. They exchange a cheer and began eating the wonderful spread of food in front of them.

"All of this is so good!" Nastasia beams with joy. "They need to bring the chef out here so I can give him a handshake!"

"You should try the pasta when you get the chance to. It's as if Grambi himself made it." Dimentio suggests as he bites into a rib.

"It'd be nice to know where most of this meat comes from. I heard that certain restaurants cook sleepy sheep and call them meatballs." Nastasia opens a nearby ketchup bottle and drizzle it over the fries.

"Sleepy sheep doesn't taste that bad but they're tastiest when they're barbequed."

"Of course you would know that. You're a great cook." Nastasia smirks.

"I never knew a simple compliment can make me so happy." He's beaming with sauce all over his mouth. It's as if he's a happy child.

"I've never seen you so happy." Nastasia finishes her cup of champagne. "You should smile with sauce all over your mouth more often."

"Well I'm spending time with you without Count Bleck. Plus you're outfit for today is truly arousing."

 _Try to get on my level O'Chunks._ Nastasia smiles at the jester's response. Count Bleck would have been filming them or ruining their date. He might poison the food or give them realistic-looking meals made out of plastic or clay. He would use every insult in his books to push them to the edge. If they went back to the castle right now, Count Bleck would be talking about last night…

Nastasia sighs and puts a smile on her face. Maybe her anxiety will go away if she asks him about last night. "So Dimentio I have something to ask you."

His eyes brighten. "Yes?"

Part of her is starting to regret asking this question. "I wanted to ask you what happened last night be—"

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN CAN I GET YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE! THE TEMPTING DESSERTS YOU CRAVE ARE NOW 70% IN CELEBRATION OF OUR 260TH ANNIVERSARY!"

The voice from speakers scares Nastasia more than it should have. She loses her train of thought. Dimentio looks at her with confusion all over. "What's wrong My Love?"

"I… think we need nicknames for each other! After all our relationship is getting to the next level! Something that sums up our feelings for each other."

" _Bien-aimé_? It's 'beloved' in French."

" _Parlez-vous françis_? I can speak a little bit. I wanted to go to France when I was a little girl but that dream didn't happen yet. I may go when Count Bleck can be mature enough to handle himself."

"So you're never going on vacation?" He asks sadly.

Nastasia's eyes light up. "Oh snap you're right! I guess certain dreams won't come true. I can't trust that man with anything. I bet you he's probably doing something stupid right now."

"Well that's true, but he has Tippi and Mr. L with him."

"I highly doubt that. Mr. L and Tippi were eyeing each other strangely today. Before Mimi started talking to the Count Tippi called Mr. L Luigi."

"So Mr. L is dating the butterfly that we almost died for." He asks in disbelief.

"Yep. I don't think you could call it cheating though. They aren't married or engaged."

Dimentio sighs at the news. "He's going to go ballistic. How many zoophiles are going to be in the castle?"

 _That might not be the only thing we have in the castle._ The secretary's anxiety is increasing. She'll need to ask him back at the castle in private. Maybe on the rooftop because everywhere else except the Count's private study and the roof has a camera.

"Well that doesn't concern me." Nastasia takes Dimentio's hand with a giant smile. "It's just you and me. Nothing is going to change that! I hope you feel the same way _Bien-aimé!_ "

"I'm glad you're serious about this! If we keep this up there will be rings and bands." He replies.

"Then there will be children running around." Nastasia adds.

That's when a thought popped into their heads. _Let's kiss! As long as we're not in a dark bedroom it's fine!_ The both of them thinking about it for a few seconds while staring at each other. The idea of smothering each other with kisses wouldn't stop Nastasia or Dimentio from jumping across the table to start the action but in front of all these people? OH GRAMBI NO.

Dimentio gives the secretary a small smile. "I know what you're thinking, but we should go back to Castle Bleck first. We can be alone but in a big room with lots of lights. With a good-looking woman like you, things can escalate faster than you'd think."

Well that was one of the things she was thinking. What's the other thing? The two events last night with him and O'Chunks.

"Of course we're going to do it in private! If you actually knew what I was thinking you wouldn't need to explain it to me." Nastasia jokes. Then she gets serious. " Plus I heard this place becomes a love club after regular hours."

"Oh I know. I've been here before with Count Bleck, O'Chunks and Mr. L around midnight…" He pauses with a face full of trauma. "NEVER AGAIN."

"Was it a Men's Night Out?" She asks. "I know you guys had one after the Princess got shot."

"Yes we did." It's obvious that he didn't want to talk about it. "All I can tell you _Bien-amié_ is that the people who go after hours are thirsty beyond your imagination. Whatever breathes, moves, has eyes, or a pelvis, they'll accept it 100%. If it wasn't for O'Chunks I might have been in the Rings."

"What do you—" The expression on his face tells Nastasia all she needs to know. "Oh those Rings. I would run to the hills to save you as soon as Count Bleck makes a commercial about it."

He smiles, "You're such a great person."

She gets up from her seat. "I may be a great person but I have features that make me astounding. Let's go back to the castle and I'll show you."

Dimentio jumps out of his seat. He grabs the bottle champagne. "Let's go! We can finish this back in the castle!"

The jester takes her hand and they walk out together.

* * *

The park is full of yellow, orange, brown, green leaves, and small berries. Even though autumn has started a while ago, it's a bit warm. O'Chunks and Mimi are walking through the park with wide eyes and smiles. Mimi's having so much fun that she isn't even complaining about her plain orange sundress. In fact she doesn't care that she's not wearing her winter clothing line!

"This place is beautiful." She says in awe. "The people in this area make this little trip better because they're so nice!"

"I think they're nice because they haven't heard of The Incident. Remember I said that they don't have electricity here." O'Chunks points out.

"You're such a negative person." She laughs. "But you have to admit it: this place is gorgeous! Imagine how it'll look when it's winter!"

"Then when spring comes there will be hundreds of flowers." O'Chunks says with a giant smile.

"I can't wait!" Mimi's smile disappears. "But Count Bleck probably has some random mission or something for me to do."

O'Chunks blinks, "But you go out to shop."

"Well Count Bleck has Tippi to deal with. He understand a woman needs her seasonal wardrobe. Plus Tippi doesn't go out a lot. She just stays glued to the Count. If I ask to go out the dude goes bezerk.

"Do you sneak out of the castle?" He quizzes.

"Of course I do! Sometime I go out to catch a movie or ice skating. When it's Wednesday night I go to the underground villain cafe for Ladies' Night. Everything is half off! So when you see those trays of food with bows on the top in the fridge, that was all me."

"So more than half of the food in the fridge came from you."

She nods with a big smile. "Yep!"

"I can't blame you for sneaking out. It gets boring when you're in the same environment. I'm able to leave whenever I want. Why didn't you just ask me to take you out?"

"When you go out it's usually with Dimentio or Mr. L. I barely see you go out by yourself. Oh and how can I forget, when all four of you guys go out for the night. How can I go out with four guys? This isn't a reverse harem!"

O'Chunks nervously laughs. "You'd be surprised…"

"But I'll happily take your offer when I feel like it. The areas around us are looking for our heads. I still have things I want to do in life. Like study Japanese."

"You don't know Japanese?"

"No. Why would I?"

"Because this all kinda came from…"

"You DO have a point. I'm just not interested in learning in certain languages because the way they look. For example: Arabic. It's a complicated language. Then there's Chinese: simplified, traditional, mandarin, cantonese, and more! I would have to go to those Countries to learn the language."

O'Chunks smiles, "D for effort. F for work."

"You're such a meanie." Mimi pouts.

A strong gust of wind blows a few leaves and berries into their faces. Mimi tries to swat the leaves out of her face, but she ends up smacking the warrior all over. O'Chunks tries to tell her to calm down but she smacks the taste out of his mouth.

"These wind gusts are dangerous. These berries could be poisonous! They might cause skin irritation as well!" She complains.

O'Chunks puts his hand on the left side of his face. "Well that's a fact."

Mimi turns around. She gasps. "What happened? Did the berries get to you or did I smack you?"

"You smacked me like a ragdoll." He laughs.

Mimi goes apocalyptic. "I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! SO SORRY SO SORRY SO SORRY SO SO SORRY SO SO SO SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!"

"It's okay!" He says with a smile.

"Are you sure?" She asks with watery eyes.

"Yes I'm sure. If a slap like that was able to do me in I would have been killed over 2,048 times by now!" He answers with a big grin.

"Okay but if I see a rash or some blisters on you I'm going to be on your case." Mimi warns.

"That's fine with me. It's nice that you care about how I'm doing."

Mimi blushes, "Well I have to! How can I say that I love my Scotti and then treat him like Count Bleck?"

The both of them begin to laugh. Talking about Count Bleck behind his back is one of the greatest things to do when you're with a loved one.

"You know I think I was a bit of a spoiled brat before finding Mr. L's powdered candy."

O'Chunks stares at her. "What?"

"Mr. L had this bag of powdered candy and I stole it. I had a little bit of it and then I decided to use the rest of it for the icees. He was going to be a greedy pig and keep it all for himself." She explains.

O'Chunks shakes his head. "Mr. L has been at Castle Bleck long enough to know that everyone will get their hands on each other's stuff. Remember when all of us got pink eye in both eyes?"

"You have a point there." She says sadly. "Maybe he was going to make some juice with it and I took it... Man I'm spoiled."

"But that was then Mimi, this is now Green Bean. You should look at yourself. You're more mature. You have a ponytail instead of pigtails. Also you have a nice plain orange sundress you would have been going crazy by now when you were spoiled."

She smiles, "You know just what to say Scotti."

The two of them are enjoying each others company. They're enjoying it so much that they haven't realized that they've been walking for over thirty minutes! O'Chunks spots a tree in the distance with a red swing hanging from a branch.

"Do you want to go on the swing?" He asks.

Mimi looks at the swing and then Scotti. "Sure! As long as you have enough thrusting power in those hands of yours."

He smirks, "I promise I do."

The two of them run up to the tree with the swing. The swing looks sturdy enough to hold Mimi. In fact, it looks brand new. Scotti and Green Bean look around to see if anyone is watching. Maybe they heard about their actions and this swing is some type of weapon.

Hey. If a touching a flower gives you powers, then a swing might wrap them up in chains or strangle them with the chains around their necks while the seat covers their mouth and nose. They can't take things lightly, This area is still part of the Mushroom Kingdom.

"Do you see anything suspicious?" O'Chunks asks.

"Nope! I'm getting on!" Mimi sits down on the swing. She laughs eagerly. "Push me Scotti!"

O'Chunks smiles. He gives her a push. Mimi glares at him while she's swinging. It's obvious that she's disappointed.

"C'mon Scotti I know you can do better than that!" She yells.

"Alright I'll stop playing games." He pushes her harder. A bit TOO hard. Mimi almost falls off of the swing.

"Are you okay Green Bean?!" He asks frantically.

"Yeah don't worry! I asked for it and I got what I wanted!" She says. "My heart's beating like crazy but I'm good."

"As long as you're fine, I won't worry." The relief in O'Chunks's voice makes Mimi giggle.

"O'Chunks I have an important question for you." Mimi says.

O'Chunks stiffens. This must be serious if she said his real name. "What's up Mimi?"

"Do you think we'll get caught by the Mushroom Kingdom and its allies again?"

Everything stops. What a great question to ask during a great day in autumn. He doesn't know how to answer. All of them almost got executed but they're still here. The Mushroom Kingdom can't even do anything to fatally hurt them because they would be breaking their laws on 'Enemy Tolerance'.

He finally answers. "I highly doubt it. The Kingdom wouldn't want it's citizens to see all the heavy artillery they have stored in the castle. Plus Mario is the only threat there. A Toad is just an entree and breakfast at the Villain Underground."

"When did you get breakfast there?" Mimi questions.

"The restaurant has a built-in inn now because too many people fell asleep at their nightclub events. You can make reservations for the good rooms online."

She stops swinging and stares at him. "Ummm… what do you guys DO when all four of you go out for the night?"

"So do you want me push you again Green Bean?" He asks, trying to dodge her question.

Mimi decides not to ask any more questions about Men's Night Out. There a reason why they don't want women there. She wouldn't tell them what happens during Ladies' Night Out anyway. Who knows how they will react when she tells them about the time they got kidnapped by some Shy Guys!

"Oh and I have another question to ask you O'Chunks. It's about last night."

"Lay it on me!" His smile is as big as ever.

"Is there something going on between you and Dimmie? That was way too passionate. The girls and I were speechless! Are you two trying to hit off or something?" She asks with a smirk.

O'Chunks's whole body turns red as his smile drops. "No! No! No! Whatever you've heard it was that ONE time. Nothing ever happened again!"

"I'm going to assume it's between the four males in the Castle?"

"Yep. my lips are sealed."

She gets off the swing. "That's fine with me. Let's go back to the astle. I have something waiting for you in my room. I think you're going to like it."

O'Chunks miraculously turns a darker shade of red. "I can't wait to see what it is!"

The two of them walk back to the castle holding hands talking about romantic comedies.


	6. Chapter 6: The End!

Count Bleck feels as if he just entered a new zone of insanity. Francis, Cackletta, and Bowser left him with some recipe that's supposed to negate the love potion that is driving his minions and Timpani to satisfy their artificial thirst.

First he needs to do two things.

Go to Mr. L's room to see if there's anymore containers with the love potion in it.

Try the potion (if there is some left) and use a bit of the antidote on himself to see if it works.

He throws himself onto Mr. L's door. The door bursts open, causing the Count to fall on his face. He quickly gets up and begins to think. Where would Mr. L put a dangerously strong love potion?

"It's got to be under his bed. The dude can be a real bum after working on an invention." Count Bleck mumbles to himself.

He looks under the bed to see dozens of Leg and Screwdriver boxes. He takes one box of the baking soda and opens it. The box is full of pure white powder. There isn't a single pink hue on the powder. He closes the box and sighs.

Count Bleck looks around the mechanic's room. He begins to get a lazy feeling. No one has time to look all over an inventor's room! He can't even stay awake when Mr. L tries to tell him a joke or a story!

The Count claps his hands together and focuses his power. "Alright tracking spell do your thing. I'm looking for something pink. Bring me a few things in his room that are pink!"

Three things appear in front of Count Bleck.

1\. Pink boxers

2\. A pink nightlight

3\. A pink speedo

"Maybe laziness isn't the best thing." He groans.

That's when he hears a banging noise. He looks around the room to see where it's coming from. His gaze lands directly onto the closet door, that looks like it's going to burst any minute now. The Count runs to the closet door and takes a few deep breathes.

"Please don't let it be something in the category of pink boxers and speedos." He begs.

He opens the door. A gallon of pink liquid lands in his hands. The baking soda box falls to the floor. Luckily, it didn't spill onto the floor. Count Bleck does a little dance to congratulate himself for closing the box earlier. He sits on the floor and looks at his materials.

"He probably made it into a powder by adding the baking soda." The Count opens the top of the gallon and pours the baking soda inside. As soon as the box was empty, the whole gallon was full of pink powder.

Step one is done. Now it's time for step two.

He pours a HUGE amount of the potion into his hands. He stuffs it in his mouth like a monster. It melts in his mouth like a warm cookie. The Count couldn't believe that he was enjoying this dangerous concoction! No wonder everyone was going crazy over Mimi's icees last night. She used this stuff to make it!"

"Count Bleck is that you?!"

Count Bleck jumps off the floor to see Mr. L watching in horror. The Green Thunder runs over to him with panic-filled eyes. "Why are you in here? This potion is dangerous!"

Count Bleck opens his mouth to yell at Mr. L but nothing comes out. He feels his face turning red.

"I… I'm sorry." He whispers.

"I hope you didn't have any of it! Depending on the amount you have, you could go lust crazy!" He yells.

"Oh Luigi! Are you… oh it's you Count Bleck."

Count Bleck turns around to see Timpani his love, who is hovering under the doorpost.

But why doesn't he feel anything for her?

 _In fact, why did I go all suicidal for a BUTTERFLY?_

"Look… Honey… why do you love Luigi so much?" He asks.

Tippi rolls her eyes. "For many reasons Count Bleck."

"Give me one reason."

"He's a great kisser."

Count Bleck grabs Luigi's hands and pulls him in. Their faces are almost touching. "Yeah okay Tippi let's see if that's true.

Count Bleck kisses Luigi. Then looks at Tippi. "Oh snap you're right he is! But this relationship isn't going to be between the three of us."

Tippi snorts. "You're right. So get out of Luigi's room Count Bleck."

"Oh Grambi no!" Count Bleck yells. "You're in the doorway so technically you're not in the room! So therefore, YOU GET OUT. IT'S ME AND HIM!"

Half of Count Bleck is mourning. Why am I yelling at my lover?

The other part of Count Bleck is thinking lustful thoughts. I wonder how quickly I can weasel into those black pants of his?

Mr. L starts to speak nervously. "Uh guys…"

Count Bleck pushes Luigi onto his bed. He climbs up on top of him with a devious smirk.

"I'll give you more of a good time then that butterfly. You have to remember that the lizard/iguana nerd took highly inappropriate pictures of her and posted them online. She makes herself a free bee, buzzing from partner to partner." He takes off his cape. "Let me prove it to you."

Then they kiss again. Tippi watches in shock as Count Bleck begins to win over her love. Mr. L begins to unbutton the Count's pants. The Count is about to unbutton his when a thought popped into head.

 _How are you going to choose an appropriate rating for this story?_

 _Are the both of you REALLY doing what you guys claim that O'Chunks and Dimentio are doing?_

Oh snap.

 _But it feels so good! Just one more step until—_

 _You better get off this butt of this bed or else it's going to be IN bed with Mr. L._

Count Bleck jumps out of his pants and zooms out of the room, swatting Tippi out of the way in the process. He can't believe that he almost had his way with Mr. L or it could have been vice versa since Mr. L started taking off HIS pants. This potion is NO JOKE.

He runs into the kitchen. There is a large pot full of a toxic green liquid. He splashes some of it on himself. Immediately the lusty thoughts, plans, and swelling went away. He exhales with a smirk on his face.

He takes a deep breath but begins to cough because the antidote smells like rotten food and an old wet sneaker.

"Vic… tor…y!" He coughs out.

He picks up the large pot and runs back into Mr. L's room. He sees Tippi trying to persuade him to being with her. He walks up to them slowly so they won't notice him.

"I'm the one for you! With your genius and kindness I'll try my best to make sure our relationship lasts!" She pleads.

Before Mr. L can respond he sees the Count with a large pot. "What are you doing?" He asks.

"Go get a donkey because I'm the only zoophiliac here!" He shouts.

He jerks the pot forward and some of the horrible smelling liquid lands on them. They begin to cough hard. Count Bleck runs out of the room. He needs to find the other two reject couples before he hears the term 'I'm preggy'.

He hears voices from a nearby room.

"You don't need to thank me for the flowers Green Bean. If I say I love you I need to show the action because actions speak louder than words."

Ugh. Proper grammar with a HINT of a Scottish accent.

That's gotta go. O'Chunks can't sound more mature than him! Does the potion fix broken english dialects as well?

He's kinda hesitant with Mimi though. He would like the new her if she wasn't a leech. If everyone's normal and she's still under the effects of the potion, somehow everyone will catch it and this Castle will be the Villain Lust Nest.

He goes into the room quietly. They're dancing to some sucky classical song. It looks like they're about to kiss any minute now. The Count's kinda annoyed that they haven't noticed him with this giant thing.

"Ahem." He says in annoyance.

Mimi and O'Chunks glare at him with disturbing glares. Before they can talk Count Bleck opens his mouth.

"Mimi you're better off being an annoying little kid then some mature lawyer." He faces O'Chunks. "I want the you and Dimentio fantasy to come true. I don't want to perform it with Mr. L."

He throws at them then leaves the room. There's only one more reject concoction that's waiting for correction.

Dimastasia?

Nastamentio?

Whatever IT is. It's going down.

"Alright where are those creeps at?" He hisses.

The Count feels like he was assaulted. He smells like garbage. He took off his cape in the induced activity thanks to that potion. His white underwear is wet with the garbage antidote and some other substance. Oh wait one more thing! His pants are in Mr. L's room because he jumped out of them like a bottle rocket at full power!

 _That's some powerful stuff. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to use that against the people in the Mushroom Kingdom._

He has to save that idea for future. If this were the good ole days, Nastasia would be by his side, writing down every stupid thing that he told her to put down. She would complain sometimes but he would ignore her or criticize every single thing that she did wrong in her life. Since she wants to be professional, she keeps her mouth closed and expresses her anger in her writing. That's why her published books are usually heartstoppers. He should know.

But now she wants to be seductive. She's ACTUALLY trying to build a love life! That potion changed more than her feelings for the jester. It changed her WHOLE personality. Now she wants to show what she has! How long has she had that fuchsia shirt? When the girls would leave to their night out she would NEVER wear something like that!

Then there's Dimentio.

Not a SINGLE PERSON in THIS CASTLE has gotten hurt. This is a record. Usually he would be a loner since 'being alone gives you time to discover stuff that you can do' or some garbage like that. If someone said something to him that he didn't like, he would turn anything nearby into a weapon. From a cookie to a speck of dust.

Now he's… nicer. He's still mean to Mr. L but not AS bad. He hasn't attempted to kill the Green Thunder. He's just going with the flow. His relationship with Nastasia is going pretty smoothly. Count Bleck was listening to their conversation while Tippi was lecturing him on cooking and cleaning veggies last night. It was a pretty normal conversation. In fact, the Count hates to admit it, it was kinda adorable. It's as if he was in a serious moment in a teen romance novel.

Dimentio is actually on a straight path to being a great partner, spouse, and father.

This is a problem.

It makes Count Bleck's relationship with Timpani… like…

 _When someone takes a huge dump in the bathroom and you get hit with the smell as soon as they leave. Sadly our relationship is the person who left their biohazardous waste smell._

Dimentio shouldn't be on a straight path! Heck, he's not SUPPOSED TO BE STRAIGHT. This makes everything stink!

"DIMENTIO! NASTASIA! GET YOUR BUTTS OUT HER! I HAVE A 12-HOUR ANNIVERSARY GIFT FOR YOU!" He screams angrily.

"Count Bleck whut 're yeh yappin' 'bout now?" The apostrophe heavy Scottish accent sentence is back and it's right behind him! Count Bleck feels a bit better.

He turns around to see O'Chunks and Mimi. Mimi has two pigtails but is still wearing the orange sundress. He gives the both of them a toothy grin. "I hope that I saved your lives from complete awkwardness."

"No you didn't! I smell horrible! Now I have to wash this dress and my hair!" Mimi whines.

"Ah you're whining for the first time today. This thing is a lifesaver." He smiles at his old minions.

"So why're yeh in yer undies?" O'Chunks asks.

Count Bleck laughs, "You're funny. You must be twisted because that's the first thing you noticed about me!" The Count gets serious. "But anyway do you people know where Nastasia and Dimentio went? I need to dump the rest of this stuff on them."

"The last time I saw them they were heading to the roof." Mimi answers.

"I swear if that joker proposes to her I'm going to regulate child bearing. Some women get preggy easily and I'm not watching some child or twins or whatever they'll have." Count Bleck grunts.

"Are you sure you want to? They look adorable together! Also, are you sure you can handle that pot? It's pretty big." Mimi squeals.

"I smoked bigger than this Mimi." Count Bleck grumbles.

Count Bleck ignores first Mimi's comment. He focuses on O'Chunks facial expression. He looks SAD. The poor Scotsman looks like someone whose food was smacked out of their hands. Count Bleck can't believe it but he feels bad for him.

He puts his free hand on the Scotsman shoulder. "Don't worry O'Chunks. I'll get him back for you. I know how much you guys love to destroy each other's insides, especially you, who likes to have your way with him. Go take a shower or something in the meantime."

The Count gives them a solute and teleports out of their sight.

Mimi and O'Chunks looks at each other.

"Should I say that Count Bleck was right about the person you care about the most?" Mimi jokes.

O'Chunks turn red. "NO! C'MON MIMI NOT YAH TOO!"

* * *

The two lovebirds are holding hands on the roof. Count Bleck is a few feet from them. He is silently cursing himself out for not putting on a pair of pants or robe before coming out here. It was windy and frigid. But he's also praising himself for not getting their attention.

This means these two are freaking serious about each other.

"Do you want to…" the jester's face turns red. "kiss now?"

Nastasia lets go of his hands. "I do but…"

"But what?"

"Kissing you mean that you're cheating on O'Chunks."

The Count laughs silently. It's as if he's having a seizure. Dimentio's face goes blank.

"WHAT?" He yells.

"Forget what happened at the Spin the Bottle game last night! I was up when you and him were walking down the hall talking about snakes in sewers Oh and I can't forget THIS morning! You literally yelled that he 'destroyed your butt'! HOW DOES A GUY DESTROY ANOTHER GUYS BUTT?"

 _I can think 128 ways but he knows 256_. Count Bleck laughs harder at his comment.

"Wait you think I'm—"

"As much as I hate to think about it the answer is yes. YES I THINK YOU'RE GAY."

Count Bleck and Dimentio gasps in flabbergasment (if that even IS a word).

"Oh snap she said the word that was censored for this whole fic! That means she MEANS IT! MY INFLUENCE IS WORKING!" the Count shouts a bit too loud.

"I can explain every single moment that made you think that O'Chunks and I are dating."

She glares at him. "You can start."

"Last night at the game I wanted to show you that I'm willing to do the dirtiest things just so you would think highly of me so I kissed him."

"WELL THAT DIDN'T WORK OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT." Count Bleck yells.

"When you saw us walking and eavesdropped into our conversation—" The secretary winces from guilt from his words— "we were helping each other plan out our dates. I suggested that Mimi and him go to the park. He reminded me about the Underground and told me to go during the daylight hours."

"What about the 'snake in the sewer' and pleasure?" She asks.

He sighs, "That phrase meant how easy it was for us to have a good time. All of us are cool and hilarious."

"Stop lying please." Count Bleck grumbles.

He ignores the Count and continues. "When it came to pleasure we weren't talking about bedtime tangos. We meant from holding hands to getting gifts and such. For example: you gave me that note with the picture of us cooking, I felt pleasure in the fact that you cared."

"Oh my gosh what is this a Lifetime movie?!" the Count screams. "Oh maybe this is like Scooby Doo! Oh Dimmie Dimmie Doo, SHUT UP WILL YOU?!"

"We spent the night planning on how the both of us would get the chance to spend time with you and Mimi since Count Bleck doesn't really follow the Minion Protection and Freedom Law."

"WHAT?!" Though the lovebirds heard the Count, they kept on ignoring his comments.

"We planned to detonate half the castle. Count Bleck would think that the Mushroom Kingdom found us and he'd forced us to go back and attacked them. Instead of doing that, both dates would be going on while he's crying about the million dollars that's coming out of his quintillion fortune."

The Count hisses, "HEY! I TAKE OFFENSE TO THAT."

"The both of us crashed in his room and slept on his bed for the night. In the morning O'Chunks thought it was a great idea to scare me as I was playing around with one of my pandas. I landed on the floor HARD. If you heard a huge bang then that was me."

 _Oh and by the way, I heard a huge bang when I was in my room. I think it might have damaged the castle a bit so check on it._

"What about the whole 'kilt to show dominance'?"

"That was a joke because people who are in charge of a relationship usually wear pants. You know the saying 'Now I think I know who wears the pants in this relationship.'"

Nastasia is speechless. All this time she was trying to beat O'Chunks for Bien-aimé's love. But he never had feelings for him and O'Chunks never had feelings for him either. Their whole date she was thinking wrongly about him. She was doubting him. This makes her as bad as Count Bleck!

"I'm sorry!" She cries. "I'm as bad as Count Bleck since I've been thing that you and him were gay for each other."

He smiles. "It's okay! At least I know what's been bothering you. Now I know what you were trying to ask at the restaurant today. I forgive you and I still love you Bien-aimé.

Nastasia and Dimentio look at each other in the eyes.

Then they begin to kiss.

Count Bleck rolls his eyes. "That was so sappy."

He watches them as they kiss. It was full of passion and love.

If Tippi saw this she would tell him to take notes.

He grabs the pot and starts running toward them. "YOU'RE RELATIONSHIP ISN'T BETTER THAN MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!" He shrieks.

He throws the pot at them. The rest of the antidote lands on the kissing minions and the pot hits the both of their heads.

The two minions stop kissing each other. Nastasia stares at Dimentio. Dimentio stares at Nastasia.

They both stare at Count Bleck.

"WELCOME BACK TO YOUR DISAPPOINTMENT REALITY SHOW CALLED LIFE!" He shouts happily.

Both minions fall onto the roof like ragdolls.

He looks at the pot. "Those Minion Protection Laws will send the enforcers after me. I think you hit them too hard on the noggins."

"Alright guys no need to thank me for saving all of you from doing M rated things to each other!"

Everyone growls at Count Bleck's ego. Everyone is in the meeting room on their boxes. Mimi and O'Chunks are in bathrobes. Nastasia and Dimentio have bandages on their heads. Mr. L has a lock on his pants. Tippi is next to Nastasia, fuming at the scene of Mr. L and Count Bleck almost having their lust satisfied.

"You almost tangoed with Mr. L!" Tippi accuses.

"But you kissed him and called him Luigi. We were both under the influence Honey. Now I understand why doing drugs is a horrible thing in modern society." He snaps.

"WE ALMOST DID WHAT WE WANTED O'CHUNKS AND DIMENTIO TO DO TO EACH OTHER!" Mr. L cries in shame.

"Well you shouldn't have been the first person I laid eyes on after I had YOUR 'kindness' potion! Now the eighth Pure Heart is some Candy Heart that you give to people on Valentine's Day."

"It took us hours to get the stench out of our hair and clothes!" Mimi says for her and O'Chunks.

"Yeah but it would have taken you minutes to sleep with each other and say you are preggy! HEY!" The Count smirks.

"You threw a pot at our heads and gave Nastasia and I a concussion." Dimentio says with a chilling tone.

Count Bleck takes a step back, "But you guys went to the hospital and I paid for the medication and operations you guys are going to have! Aren't I the best?!"

Everyone looks at each other. "NO."

"EXCELLENT!" Count Bleck cries. He looks down at Mr. L with serious eyes.

"You know Mr. L it was pretty dumb of you to make a kindness potion and add a Pure Heart to the mix."

Then he looks at Mimi, "But Mimi it's all your fault that everyone got that potion into their systems! You shouldn't take some random baggie from Mr. L's room and expect for it to be candy! What in YOUR HEAD makes you think that's taking something from an inventor's room must be society friendly?"

"Sorry." The two minions says.

The Count's egotistical grin makes it's way back onto his face. "Anyway now we can use the rest of the potion as weapons against our enemies! But if one of you guys bug me a bit too much, I'll use it on you and throw some random person in a dark closet with you for the whole night."

O'Chunks speaks, "But woodn't dat go against tiz 'ere Minyuin Pro—"

"Nope. It says I can discipline you guys any and every way I see fit!"

"You should hang the law somewhere in the castle so all of us can see it's terms and conditions." Nastasia says.

"Oh Grambi no! You guys are going to keep the law over my head everytime I do something that wrong to you guys. On the other hand I would be able to do the same for you guys when you do something that I think is wrong… just go to and print the laws out already."

"Can we leave now? I'm tired and I have homicides to premeditate on." Dimentio says.

Count Bleck smiles. 'Yep. I'm glad that all of you guys are back to normal. This castle wouldn't be the same if everyone was married and had kiddies. I love you guys."

"No you don't." Everyone responds.

Count Bleck rolls his eyes, "Fine. I love to play with guys. Oh and there are some treats and drinks on the table by the exit! There are piggies-in-a-blanket, brownies, nachos, and orange juices from Toadacana!"

Everyone dashes to the snack table with glee.

Everyone except for Count Bleck, who is laughing to himself.

"Nastasia have I ever told you that you look cute in glasses?" Tippi says with a red… thorax.

Nastasia blushes. "Oh… thanks."

Mr. L is feeding Mimi brownies and nachos. "You have a pretty playful personality Mimi. Maybe you can come to my room for a RPG playdate."

"Why not?" Mimi smirks, "You can tune me up like your little robots."

O'Chunks is feeding Dimentio piggies-in-a-blanket.

"These hotdogs aren't going to satisfy my hunger." Dimentio sighs. "They're too small."

"Well I have a hotdog that's big enough to satisfy your hunger. You can try to fit the whole thing into your mouth in my room." He says seductively.

Dimentio blushes, "Who am I to refuse an offer like that Big Buddy? In fact you can stuff me anytime if you're good at satisfying as you say."

The jester and the Scotsman smack each other on the butt. They began to laugh and gaze into each other's eyes.

That's when the both of them realized the food was drugged. Dimentio turns around to confront Count Bleck.

"YOU DRUGGED US DIDN'T YOU?!" He screams.

Count Bleck laughs, "Maybe. But you don't know if I put a lot. Maybe your true feelings are coming up and you didn't even realize it… BOTTOM BUDDY."

His response infuriates the jester. Tippi flies up to Count Bleck with anger in each flutter.

"How could you do this to ME?! DON'T YOU LOVE ME?!" Tippi spits out flaming words at her love.

"Is this coming from the butterfly that never told me that she had a relationship with Mario on the side?" the Count replies nonchalantly. "I deserve an award for all of my hard work."

He waves goodbye and teleports out of the room. Everyone looks at each other.

"I'll get the pitchforks." Dimentio says.

He snaps his fingers but nothing happens. He's not teleporting.

Nothing.

The lights in the room are flickering.

Nastasia tries to teleport.

Nothing happens!

All of them begin to panic a little.

Mimi clings on to Mr. L, "What are we going to do?" She screams.

"How come we can't use our powers?!" Tippi asks Nastasia frantically.

"I don't know! Maybe he put something else in the food?" She suggest.

Dimentio ignores everyone's panic and looks at Big— O'Chunks. "Do you think you can bust—"

A swelling is going on in his body. The jester blushes and turns away from the Scotsman. "Let's just bang the door down!" He yells.

"Fix your sentence structure please!" Mr. L begs.

Before, Dimentio can yell at Mr. L for having the filthiest mind in the story, O'Chunks pulls him into a hug.

"Let's do our best to bust the door down and fatally injure Count Bleck as much as possible." He fixes.

Everyone runs to the door and starts beating it up like a wild animal.

Everyone except the jester and the Scotsman. O'Chunks decided to carry Dimentio there so he wouldn't hurt his feet.

Nastasia is throwing her heels at the door while everyone is punching it. Tippi is absolutely USELESS because butterflies can't hit doors hard enough unless they were on a bottle rocket or something.

That's when the lights shut off.

" **COUNT BLECK GET US OUT OF HERE!** " they cry.

* * *

A few villains are at the beach. The temperature is just right to have a barbecue, swim for a bit, and play a few sports. One of the villains is telling a story that has piqued the interest of his peers. What is his name?

Count Bleck.

He sighs, "Too bad there's no one in the castle to save them."

All the villain laugh when Count Bleck tells them everything that happened in the past two days.

"So you left them there in the dark?!" Cackletta asks. "Man your good!"

"Yep. I enhanced my cameras with some magic. When I get back I'll check the footage to see everything that happened. I'll use this as next year's April Fools joke."

Bowser smiles, "So are we going to upload the pics now or what? We're at the beach so it's the perfect time to start a ship!"

"You're lucky Bowser!" The Count snaps his fingers. A green laptop appears in his hands. "This is Mr. L's laptop. This stuff will be trending on .mk for months!"

"Add some special effects if you can!" Francis recommends.

"Yeah so it can be high technical." He winks at the iguana. "I'm about to have the best minion award for the the first time ever! Hopefully those lukewarm villains don't bash on me again. The enforcers of the villain law almost amputated my hand because I was 'being inappropriate with them' yet Mimi asked me to fix her dress strap for her."

"When did that happen?" Bowser asks.

"The day Mimi did a vlog on dressing for occasions." Count replies. He's watching the photos and videos upload like there's no tomorrow.

Francis is on his .mk page on his vilPad (Villain Pad). He starts to laugh and stops as soon as Count Bleck looks at him. Bowser and Cackletta rush to his side to see what he's seeing. The both of them gasp and begin to giggle as well. Count Bleck closes Mr. L's laptop as soon as all the pictures finish uploading.

He walks over to his pals, "What's so funny?"

Francis shows him and he's shocked.

Dimentio posted something pretty jerkish.

 _After two days of craziness my Count decided to play a trick on us by locking us in a room. Luckily punching Mr. L's head was the key to getting out. Big Buddy and I went into Bleck's room and went through some camera footage and saw this:_

It was him and Mr. L kissing and undressing each other and a video of him yelling at Tippi that she's not in the relationship because she's in the doorway. He added so many effects that it looked like a Lifetime movie!

 _So while he's bashing on his minions he's also trying to seduce them. Like seriously Count Bleck, are you with Tippi or Mr. L?_

"Uh… um… eh…" The Count is speechless.

"At least we know now that story you told us was true. We thought you were trying to sound like some hometown hero when you said that you ate a handful of that potion." Bowser laughs hysterically.

Count Bleck picks up a rock and throws it into the ocean. DARN IT! I HATE ALL OF YOU!" He screams.

An image of Dimentio laughing pops into the Count's mind.

"ESPECIALLY YOU BOTTOM BUDDY!" He shrieks.

"Wait you love your jester too?" Francis asks.

"NO!"

As the Count is crying on the beach, everyone back at the castle is enjoying some red wine and the comments from the jester's post.

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed your Valentine's Day!**

 **I'm going to post the story about the Princess getting shot soon! :D**

 **Have a good day/night!**

 **TheComingofEpic**


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